Mystery Midnight Kisser
by LaNorita
Summary: No longer a oneshot: It's New Year's eve and Paige get's a mystery kiss at midnight. Find out who she get's it from ...Chap 14 is up
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I know that ya'll probably are thinking how I can write a new fanfic when I haven't updated 'Because it feels good' in like forever? I honestly have no answer … I just know that I'm busy like hell, and you'll have to wait for that update for a while. But I didn't give up on it! Most definitely not. I just really wanted to write this fic. I got the idea just a couple of hours ago and I got my head out of my stupid law book to write it for you guys. Consider it a New Year's present ;-) Normally this should be a oneshot. But you never know, if you like it I might consider writing a few more chapters. Don't forget to review! Cheers everyone and a happy new year**

The club was buzzing. Bodies were moving to the newest beats that were being scratched by the DJ. It was the hottest place in town with the hottest persons in town. Yet I couldn't feel anymore drained then I already felt. It was New Year's eve and I was spending it with Spinner. Yes Spinner, as in Honey Bee-Furby-Spinner. I must've been drugged when I agreed to do this. Yes the club was hot, the atmosphere was fucking unbelievable, but Spinner?

Don't get me wrong, I like him. Just not the way he likes me ... I was supposed to be getting into the new year with a fresh start, a clean slate, a new me. And I end up spending it with my High School-main squeeze. Way the go Paige! The worst thing about the night was probably yet to come: the midnight kiss. Off course Spinner being Spinner, will not settle for the quick friendly peck on the lips. He was probably expecting a full-on make-out session. He firmly believes that Queen Bee and Honey Bee are reunited, and he's not the only one. Practically all of my friends have been giving me calls congratulating and notifying my of their excitement for rekindling my love with 'The One'. Boy were they wrong …

I couldn't help but feel nauseas when he started grinding into me and giving me the 'I want you'-look. I wonder if he's familiar with the 'I want to gag'-look and ponder whether I should try it out on him. I discard the thought and simple settle for a fabricated smile and tell him that I was thirsty. Spin being the gentleman he is, says to stay where I was and immediately went to fetch us some drinks. He's a sweet guy, he really is. And he's a great friend and, yeah well, that's pretty much where the story end. I get a little uncomfortable by all the sweaty bodies that are surrounding me, practically having vertical sex and I decide to move towards the back. Spin probably wouldn't find me directly, which is a good thing since it was only ten more minutes for midnight and I really wasn't into kissing him dearly right now or ever for that matter.

You're probably wondering why the hell I'm making such a big deal about this 'midnight kiss'. I mean why can't I simply make-out with him for a minute and be done with it? The answer is simple: I just can't … Midnight kisses are supposed to be special. It's the kiss that knits the old year with the new one. The kiss that would shape my love-life for the entire next year. The kiss that would swipe me off my feet and bring me into frenzy. The kiss that brings you into heaven for a couple of moments right before you land back on the ground with a loud thud. As in importance, it was right up there with the sweetness of your very first kiss with somebody and the bitterness of your very last kiss with that same person. I couldn't possibly share that moment with Spinner. It wasn't fair to him, and it wasn't fair to me.

Midnight was getting closer and closer and Spin finally spotted me from across the room. He a gave me a little nod of acknowledgement and started making his way through the mass, carefully trying not to spill the drinks. I sighed loudly at the prospect of kissing him when suddenly all the lights went off … Murmurs quickly filled the club, as everyone tried to understand what was happening. I guess Y2K waited 7 years to finally make it's appearance. Slightly relieved, I kept leaning against the wall, casually waiting for the lights to go back on when I felt someone slip their hand into mine and lead me away. I reluctantly knew that it wasn't Spinner.

I was brought to a corner of the club that was deserted and was quickly pinned to the wall. I squinted my eyes as I desperately tried to see who it was but the obscurity wasn't helping my cause. The mystery person put their hands on my waist and leaned in to me, pressing the whole of their body into mine. This definitely wasn't Spinner, or he must've held a couple secrets from me. This person was a girl …

When it looked like the lights weren't going to go on any time soon, the crowd decided to make the best of it and start the countdown anyway. With each number that was said, I felt her hot breath coming closer and closer. My heart pulse was uncontrollable. My breathing quickened. My jeans? Well, let's just say that laundry-day will be happening a little earlier this week. The last second off the year finally passed, and her lips ultimately met mine. The kiss started out gentle, and the touch was lingering. There was a small hesitation on both parts, as if we were both taking our time the memorize the feeling of that very first touch. It was precious, tender, intimate and so full of love.

It was at that moment that the fragile girl in me found herself her true soul mate. A soul mate with no name and no face, but a soul mate it was. The kiss heatened and I wanted to capture her lips with desperate urgency. Unifying our souls and our love with our mouths. I slightly parted my lips and our tongues met in a dazzling dance. Caressing each other, exploring each others mouth trying to find that buried treasure that we hid so well. The blood was rushing furiously through my veins, my breath was coming in shorts gasps. Overwhelmed and overpowered by an emotion that I never felt before. Our hands wandered under each others shirts, frantically trying to feel the heat that was radiated from our skin. It was like a dream, and just like any other dream it had to come to an end. Our lips parted and I let out a whined moan, realising that I might never get to feel that sensation again. She leaned back into me and brought her mouth to my ear.

"Happy New Yeas" she whispered huskily before backing up and letting our fingers touch slightly before she left completely. I was dazed. Dazed by her mystifying touch. A touch that was so pure, yet so innocent. A touch that made my heart ache of desire. A touch that made me yearn a person I didn't even know.

I was brought out of my bemused state as the lights flickered back on and the music started playing again. I instantly spotted a worried Spinner making his way over to me.

"I've been looking the whole place for you. I thought you left?"

" No I didn't I just .. stood in the corner waiting for the lights the flicker back on."

_Waiting for reality to strike back in_.

He continues his monologue on how he was searching for me and was upset that we couldn't kiss our way into the new year. I just nod absentmindlingly , as I scan the place to find my mystery kisser. Was it the blonde that was humping in-between the two jocks? The redhead that was downing the vodka at the bar? Or the brunette that was trying to ignore a guy who was desperately trying to get her attention ?

But all of them fade as I see her. I instantly now it's her. Not a singly hair on my head that doubts it. I look at her and take every inch of her in. Dark hair, smoking hot body, perfect face. She notices and stares right back, piercing her chocolate eyes into mine. Without me not even perceiving it I find myself being pulled on the dance-floor by Spinner. Producing his lame dance moves all over again, I see her forming an amused half-smirk a take sip of her beer. Spin keeps on dancing with me but my eyes and my mind never dart from hers. My body was on the dance floor, but my soul was with her.

It's crazy how strong the sexual tension can be felt, seeing how she's on the opposite part of the club with hundreds of teenagers parting us. My mystery kisser was my biggest foe. Battles I had won, battles she had won. Wars we had fought. Love we were going to make …

My New Year's resolution contained two words: Alex Nuñez.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So I decide to make this a chapter-story after all. I have no idea how long this will be, I'm just going to see where it takes off. Some background-info you might like:**

**This takes place while the senior year. Alex doesn't work with Paige and she never was a VP. Alex does not hang with Paige, Marco, Ellie, .. There a distinct line between the popular groups and the … not-popular groups.**

**I hope you enjoy it and review please ;-) See ya next time!**

Lunch-time and I'm stuck with Hazel and Spinner .. again. The guy wouldn't let go of me. Granted I hadn't told him to back off, nor did I confirm or deny the rumours of us getting back together. I had successfully dodged any 'alone-time' and every time he tried to kiss me I just conveniently searched an inexistent lost object on the floor or simply walked away stating that I had to go somewhere. You'd think he'd take a hint, huh? I guess he never really was one of the bright ones. _Yet he was your 'boo' for like forever. _

So I'm poking the so-called food in my plate, which doesn't even look remotely eatable, while Hazel keeps nagging about Jimmy. Which wasn't nearly as bad as Spinner trying to get closer and closer to me during the whole conversation. I look up and scan the area, desperately trying to cast my attention away from my seemingly crappy lunch. JT was being his childlike-self again, Toby was desperately trying to charm some girls that were way out of his league, Ellie was being her mopey self again as she was stealing secret glances of the lovey-dovey couple Craig & Manny and Marco was busy freaking out about his frizzled hair .. again. God, could Degrassi be any more predictable?

Just when I wanted to officially declare this lunch the worst ever, I notice _her_. Casually leaning against the wall, flipping uninterested in a magazine. It's been a week since New Year's eve, and we hadn't said a word to each other, actually we didn't even see one another. Not that we used to be bestes friends or whatever, but we talked. Well, yeah, insulted would be a more appropriate term. We'd have a confrontation in the hallways at least once a week. Whether it was a Monday or a Friday, we knew it'd come eventually. Like some sort of unwritten rule. And isn't until know, that I realised how much I relished them. Nobody stood up to Queen Paige. No, they bowed down. But not Alex. Alex bit back. And she bit good …

A sudden slipped around my waist arm, woke me up out of my daze. I rolled my eyes and scooped away from the delusional guy next to me. I looked back up and saw that she had left, taking a turn towards the bathroom. _Great_. Oh well, perfect excuse for me to get out of Spin's grip and to see her again. I excused myself from the table, and unconsciously started to fix my hair and straighten my clothes on my way to the restroom. I opened the door and spotted her at one of the sinks, splashing water on her face. She looked up in the mirror and instantly locked eyes with mine. The gaze lingered for a while, before she finally let her face down and continued her previous actions.

"So, you wanna have a fight in here? There's like no audience, kinda ruins the fun." She chuckled, still with her back to me.

"I don't wanna fight." I said plainly.

She turned around, and shot me a half-smirk.

"Well yeah, not fight, _fight._ Don't wanna mess-up that pretty face of yours, wouldn't we." She snorted sarcastically.

"Not fight at all. I just want to talk." I said, staring deeply into her eyes.

"Wait, wait. Where's Ashton? Princess wants to talk to _me_? Aren't you afraid you're gonna catch the poor-kid-syndrome or worse, the-no-fashion-taste-bug?" she chuckled.

Silence fell upon , as I started crossing and uncrossing my arms on my chest, contemplating my next move. I was surprised that she didn't just bolted out of that bathroom right away, but instead she kept leaning against the sink hands in pockets and a smug smile on her face. It suited her. That look. Simply because it wasn't fake. Alex doesn't do fake. Her posture, her expressions, they were true. They reflected who she was. No, there was nothing fake about Alex.

"So, do you that a lot?" I asked as I leaned against one of the stalls door right on the opposite of Alex.

"Do what a lot?" she snapped.

"Kiss random people in the dark." I responded while raising an eyebrow.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She said while nervously shifting her eyes from mine.

"Oh you know, New Year's Eve, hot club, lights going off, you pinning me against the wall and fucking kiss me, leaving me breathless." I said, shrugging.

"Don't flatter yourself, Princess. Not everybody is willing to throw themselves at you, like some brainless idiotic ass-kissing followers." She said annoyed.

"Most people in this school do …"

'God, could you be any more vain?" she interrupted as she threw her arms in the air.

"But you .. you wouldn't." I said dead-serious.

"Exactly. Whoever the idiot was that 'kidnapped' your sorry ass at that club, it wasn't me." She said, growing more and more angry with the moment.

"Who are you fucking kidding Alex. I know it was you. I'm not as dumb as I am blonde."

I said angrily.

"You know what, I'm really starting to think that you're making this shit up. I mean you, being kissed in the dark by an unknown _girl_ and you didn't call the cops? Yeah right!" she laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean." I said offended.

"It means that you care too much about your fucking popularity to enjoy being kissed by a girl, cause God forbid somebody might call you a dyke. No, you'd rather prance around with a dumb-ass guy who you absolutely can't stand. You just wait until the lights go off so you can let your guard down, but once back on your back to being Princess Popular. You're pathetic." She snorted while looking me square in the eye.

She insulted me. Just like so many other times. On any other day, any other argument, I would've had the perfect comeback. But not now, not this argument. Cause she was right. Every single thing she said, was so damn right. She insulted me. And I should hate her. I should be angry with her. But I couldn't. She was slowly sucking me into her web and soon I'd surely be smouldered. Silence was upon again, and I realised that she still hadn't said what I wanted to hear.

"So you admit it then." I said walking towards her.

"I didn't admit nothing. I told I wasn't one of your ass-kissing followers." She glared at me.

"I know. Doesn't mean it wasn't you." I responded seriously.

"And how the hell would you know that it was in fact me." She said challenging me.

I stepped even closer to her, until there was barely any space between.

"Because the girl that kissed me …" I said while putting my hand on the flesh in between her tank top and jeans," Felt just like you .." I continued as I rubbed my thumb across her abs.

"And the girl that kissed me …" I whispered while inching closer and gently brushing my lips against hers," Tasted just like you .."

She was too dumbfounded for words when I looked her in the eyes so I simply stepped away. I walked towards the door, stopping my movements once I reached it .

"Maybe the girl that kissed can light my darkness." I said with my back facing her, before I reached the handle and let myself out.


	3. Chapter 3

Another week had passed and no fights had occurred. No insulting marathon had found its place in the hallways. I craved a confrontation, even if it was some silly name-calling. I needed it. It was my anti-drug. My sanity. My moment of the week. Or was it just a cover-up? A cover-up for something that lied way deeper than some random derision? Maybe I just needed her?

Either way, I wasn't getting it. Every time we'd pass each other, faces would be turned. Interest would immediately shift to the ever so fascinating floor. Did she disturb our relationship by kissing me (which she denied firmly)? Or did I disturb it by confronting her? I have no idea. But what I do know, is that I need her. I need her to be my _something_. Friend, lover, foe. I didn't care what exactly, but it had to be something. Cause right now, it was nothing. And nothing hurt too damn much.

I walk in our class with Hazel, and I instantly spot her. Same place like always. Last row, last seat on the left, just by the window. She's looking outside, lost in her thoughts. Peaceful, but still with a harshness on her face. Unique as always off course. I'm brought out of my daze as Hazel calls me over to sit next her. Same place, like always. The moment I sit, Hazel start talking of my ear again and I simply nod, giving her some kind of fake assurance that I was listening intently. Misleading as always, off course.

Ms. Kwan comes in and the murmurs in the classroom slowly disappear.

"So class, today I'm going to give you an assignment on poetry. You are expected to analyse a total of 5 poems. You'll analyse 3 poems of my choice and two of your own choice. Since this is a partner assignment, each partner gets to choose one. If the partners are not content with each others choices, they will need to convince each other. And I'd like to hear all of the arguments that were given."

Murmurs invaded the classroom again, as several students were wording their discontent on our latest task . Others were already choosing their partners, but Ms. Kwan had different ideas.

"I inform you, that you can not choose your own partners. You'll be taking a big dive next year, and choices will be made for you. So this is also an exercise on learning to work with persons you don't usually work with. I've decided to partner you up, basing myself on the alphabetical list. If you're lucky your best friend's family name will start with the same letter as yours, if not then you'll have to make the best of it." She explained.

"Great, not only is this a stupid assignment, we can't even choose our own partners." Hazel whispered.

"Now this assignment, isn't to be taken lightly. These grades are worth a significant percentage of your final grade. You'll have three weeks to work on it both in class, and out of class. So try and make full use of it. Now the groups are:

Hazel Aden & Jimmy Brooks .."

"Shoot me now, please. I officially got the worst hook-up ever." Hazel sighed dramtically.

" … Sophie Ellington & Laura Franks, Jason Grant & Liza Harding, Stacey Jefferson & Luke Kayden, Paige Michalchuck & Alex Nuñez, Kevin Peters & John Preston, …"

"Okay, I guess working with Jimmy isn't that bad comparing to Alex." She chuckled.

I simply kept quiet. Not knowing for sure, how I had to feel. My expression was blank.

"Paige, you're zoning. It's going to be fine. I mean, she hasn't insulted you or anything lately so it doesn't have to be _that_ bad." She said, trying to kick some hope into me.

Off course Hazel, didn't know about the midnight kiss or the confrontation in the bathroom. Or that second kiss, that was initiated by me … Technically speaking she was my best friend. And technically, I should tell her everything. But practically, that didn't happen. I never was a fan of technicality anyway.

Ms. Kwan handed us our poems and I grabbed all the courage I had to lift myself from my desk and head over to hers. Cause no way, Alex Nuñez would tire herself and shift places herself. I wandered over to the back and sat in the empty seat next to her.

She didn't bother to take her eyes from the window and I honestly didn't dare to shake her out of her thoughts. Silent moments passed before I finally decided to speak up.

"So, I guess we're stuck with each other." I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

No answer. I shifted nervously in my chair and tried again.

"Any idea, what poem you're going to choose?" I asked.

Silence. It was bad enough that she wouldn't talk to me, it was even worse that she kept on watching outside totally ignoring my presence. I sighed and gave it one last try.

"Look Alex, I know that this sucks right now. But what sucks more is that this counts for a large part of our final grade. And I am in no mood to fail this, and I'm pretty sure you aren't either."

"You don't know a thing about what I want or not, got that?" she said finally turning towards me.

"Okay, okay. Don't bite my nose off." I replied, hands pulled up defiantly in the air.

She wasn't looking through the window anymore, but she wasn't looking at me either. Her desk was the object of fascination at this point. At least I'm doing some sort of progress, I guess.

"Look, we don't have to be BFF's to work on this. Let's just forget whatever happened these last few weeks … or didn't happen … and concentrate on this. The sooner we start, the sooner we're done with it." I said exasperated.

She looked up at me, and I half-expected a sneer but instead I got a small nod. Now, I talked to you about those nods earlier on. You know, the ones that hand you a fake assurance. Well, this wasn't one of them. Cause like I said before, Alex doesn't do fake.

"Okay, so let's start then." I said a little too excited.

"Oh, joy!" she snorted out sarcastically.

I moved my desk and chair closer to hers so that we both could read of the sheets.

"So, let's start with the beginning. The first poem is titled "_To a Lady Seen for a Few Moments at Vauxhall"_ and written by one John Keats, whoever that is. They could've at least given us a guy that we'd actually heard about before." I said as I rolled my eyes.

She looked at the sheet and brought her gaze back to her window. I was about to groan of frustration, before she started talking.

"Keats was like this genius English lyrical poet. You know, he was the archetype of the English Romantic movement. He had like the most amazing works, but nobody appreciated it. He was constantly criticized for no apparent reason. Everything that meant something in his life, was brutally destroyed. His dad died in an accident when he was like eight, his mom died of tuberculoses when he was 14, and he spend like a huge chunk of his life taking caring of his brother who also had tuberculoses before he finally died too. He was madly in love with a girl who he knew he would never get. And when his work finally was being appreciated and things finally looked bright for him, he was diagnosed with tuberculoses himself and died at the age 26."

"Wow. That's pretty sad .." I said not knowing what exactly to say.

She turned back around towards me and looked me intently in the eyes.

"Yeah, well life's a bitch." She said raising her eyebrows.

"I didn't knew that you …"

"That I could string a few coherent sentences, that actually meant something without insulting someone?" she scoffed.

"No, it's just I didn't knew you were so such a big poetry-fan or whatever." I said a little surprised.

"There a lot of things you don't know about me. Where's the fun in talking to someone when you already know everything about them." She said while looking at her fingernails.

"You're right. You're absolutely right." I said sincerely.

"Well, that's a first. I should tape those words, might never get to hear them again." She sniggered.

I smiled. Genuinely. This girl is damn full of surprises, and I couldn't wait until I could wrap out the next one. The bell rang and I stands up quickly while grabbing her backpack.

"As much as I _love_ talking to you …" she said while pointing towards the door. Okay sarcasm obviously wasn't going to be one of her surprises. I'm pretty sure her slogan is "Sarcasm, Just Do It."

"I'm gone." She added.

"Wait! Uhm, do you want to like come over to my place. You know, to work on the assignment, over a pizza or something." I asked while fidgeting with m hands.

"Look Princess, I think spending our time together in class is already more than enough. No need for some Super Duper Fun Slumber parties." She mocked.

"Look, I've already overheard several students taking a bet on when we'll _exactly_ start killing each other off. And I for one would like to piss them off by proving them wrong and ace this damn thing. And though 'there are a lot of things I don't know about you', I'm pretty sure you like pissing off people too." I chuckled.

"Yeah, a little." She smirked," Wait, you think we could get into this bet too?"

"Alex." I said rolling my eyes.

"Come on, we'll split the money, 70-30." she winked.

" …"

"Fine, whatever. You're such a wuss." She said while crossing her arms.

"So are you coming or not?" I asked.

"Ugh, I can't believe I'm doing this." She mutterd," Where do you live? And don't tell me it's that big white castle down at Fairystreet."

"Actually it's the big purple one at Magicstreet." I laughed.

She rolled her eyes and gave me a sly smile. Yes, a smile. Not a smirk. Not a grin, a smile.

"Just right it down or whatever."

I took my pen and took her hand in mine, and wrote down the address. She was about to retreat her hand when I surprised her by blowing on her palm, trying to get the ink dry properly. I looked up and her deep browns where fixated on mine. Moments passed, when we finally realized that her hand was still in mine and we both quickly withdrew them.

"Uhm, so I'll see you at 8. There's nobody at home so you don't have to worry about obnoxious hockey-playing brothers or nosy 'rents." I joked trying to bring back the lightey mood.

"Okay, see you then." She responded quickly and if I didn't knew better shyly? She turned around and rapidly left the building leaving my alone with my thoughts.

Was she my friend? My foe? My _lover_? I still had no idea. But she was definitely my _something_.

**A/N Hope you guys liked this chap and stay around for the next one in the next couple of weeks. I appreciate the feedback and hope you'll keep on reviewing. Also if you have any question, don't hesitate on asking, I'll be gladly answering them. As for now, goodbye until the next update!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So, I had the first of my mid-terms yesterday and it went great. Needless to say I am in a great, sharing mood. So I wanted to surprise you guys with an early update. Now this is a very, _very_ long chapter. So it should keep you warm for awhile. I thank very much for the great comments, you guys leave behind every single update and I really hope you'll keep on feeding me. And for now, until next chap! **

**PS: I haven't proofed it, cause I'm kinda beat so pardon me for any mistakes you will most probably read.**

**------------------------**

8.20. She wasn't going to come wasn't she? God, I'm such a fool for thinking that Alex would actually come over to her arch nemesis' house. Why did I care so much about her anyway? Oh yeah, I remember. She kinda made-out with me and I sorta enjoyed it. Or maybe I was just pissed that I had ordered one large pizza, and that it was going to go to total waste. Yup, that must be it.

I was about to plop myself on the couch and drown in self-pityness when I heard the doorbell ring. I walked towards the door, trying not to get my hopes up too much, knowing that it could be anyone. I open up and surprise, surprise …

"Alex!" I exclaimed a little too loud.

"Princess." She nodded.

"I thought you weren't gonna come." I said while fiddling with my hands.

"I thought you invited me over." She responded with a smirk.

"Yeah, but you're kinda late."

"Oh come on. Never heard of the term 'fashionably late'? And here I thought you had royal blood." She feigned shock.

I rolled my eyes and gave her a trademark glare. I've been giving a lot of those lately.

"So …" I said, trying to start a conversation.

"So are you gonna let me in, or are we gonna work on the doorsteps?" she chortled.

"Oh right. Sorry .." I blushed as I let her in through the doorway.

"I thought we could work in my bedroom if that's okay with you?"

"Beats me .." she shrugged.

"Uhm, I hope you like pizza's with pepperoni-topping?" I said in a sing-song voice.

"Hey, any free food is good food with me." She said while raising her eyebrows.

I laughed at her comment (I've been doing that lately a lot too) and brought her upstairs to my room. I could practically read the amusement of her face.

"What's so funny?" I said while rolling my eyes.

" I was just thinking: 'Gee, I wish I had a room_ just_ like yours'" she replied sarcastically.

"What, jealous of my mega-cool room?" I grinned.

"Oh yeah. Gosh, pink really is the new black isn't it?" She said in her best Valley girl-voice

"Uhu, if you want I can come and decorate yours?" I said a little too flirtingly than I had planned.

"Yeah." She said with a more serious tone, dropping down her gaze to the ground. Way to spoil the mood again, Paige!

"Uhm so, poetry!" I said trying to break the tension.

"Yeah, poetry!" she replied.

"I think the bed's probably the most comfortable place we can sit on. You go ahead and sit down, I'm gonna grab the pizza from downstairs and get some drinks." I said while pointing towards the bed.

"Cool." She nodded.

I headed downstairs and grabbed the pizza and drinks before quickly heading back up. Once I entered my room and I found her huddled over a box in a corner. I contemplated whether I should interrupt her or not. I had a urge to simply let her do whatever she wanted, as long as I could watch. Just simply watch her being her. Study her assets, her movements, her expressions, everything that makes Alex the girl she is. I observed her for a few minutes while she ruffled through the box, with a certain gentleness, as if she was afraid to damage the contents.

"So, I see you found my secret stash of vintage vinyl's." I smiled as I put the pizza and beverage on the bed.

"I'm sorry, I was j-just watching …" she stuttered. Wow, Alex apologized _and_ stuttered, that's a first.

"Alex, it's okay. I have no problem with it. Watch, all you want. It might earn my room a couple of much needed cool points." I laughed.

"You got some classic records down here." She stated surprised.

"You act shocked." I chuckled.

"Yeah well, I thought you were more into Britshit and Slutina." She laughed as she looked me straight in the eye.

"Well, there are a lot of things you don't know about me." I said while mimicking her tone earlier that day.

She flashed me a genuine smile, and hovered back over the box to look through the LP's again.

"Seriously though, The Beatles?" she asked me in disbelief.

I rolled my eyes again and made my way towards her. I sat cross-legged on the floor next to her and left a respectable margin between us. Trying as hard as I could not to ruin the light mood like I already had done.

"A few years ago, Marco dragged me to one of those flea markets and-"

"Wait, wait. _You_ in a flea market? Please, tell me you took pictures?" she asked highly amused.

"I'm telling you, if you let this out to anyone I'm going to haunt you down like a dog." I warned with a threatening finger pointed to her.

"I won't tell, I promise. Cross my heart." She grinned.

"Good. Anyway, I was telling a story before I was rudely interrupted." I stated while staring her down. She held up her hands in apologetic behaviour and gestured me to continue.

"So, I was shuffling through the market, beyond bored when suddenly I see _the_ most amazing thing ever. And I mean like, _ever_ ever. And to my own surprise it wasn't a Dolce Gabbana-outfit or the latest Ipod-device, not that you find those things in flea markets anyway." I said while shrugging my shoulders. She flashed me a large smile again and urged me to carry on.

"Anyway, it was this small portable phonograph in a polished mahogany suitcase. And the thing is, I barely ever had seen one in my entire life and yet I was intrigued the moment I saw it. It's just, I can't explain it, but I was immediately drawn by it. I was head over heels, and I just had to have it. And the guy that sold it to me handed me two Beatles-records on top of it. And I remember like the first week, I didn't even dare to touch it. I just put it on my drawer and, drank in the beauty or whatever. But you know soon, I actually learned how to play the records and that's when I fell in love for the second time. But this time it was with The Beatles. Which kinda sums up my love-life of the last few years." I said while rolling my eyes and it earned me a soft chuckle.

" … And ever since, I've been rummaging flea market after flea market, in the hope to find some rare LP's. But again, that's my secret and nobody has to know about it." I jokingly threatened her.

Stillness filled the room again, as I saw her eyes shift from the LP's to my eyes, only to be averted back to the records.

" I'm sorry, I can babble people's heads off obviously. You probably loathe me even more now." I said while letting out a nervous laugh.

"No, it's cool. That was an interesting story to say the least." She said sincerely.

Our eyes locked again. And this time neither of us shifted our gazes. Green orbs met chestnut browns and mixed into a story of their own. I felt her soul slowly pouring into mine as I experienced the same sensations I felt that blissful night. My breathing slowly quickened as I underwent a fluttery feeling in my stomach. I shifted my eyes from hers towards her full lips, and I notice that they're slightly parted. I could've sworn that I saw her tongue gently lick her lips, but my mind could've simply been playing tricks on me. I saw her lips move and I heard a faint voice in the background. Not registrating what was said, I simply kept on observing her lips. Suddenly aware of how moronic I was probably looking, I quickly shook my head of all my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked hoarsely.

"I said we should probably get to that poem."

"Uhm, yeah you're right." I said nervously, before quickly getting up.

"The pizza's probably too cold to eat." I said guiltily.

"It's okay, I wasn't that hungry in the first place." She shrugged, while getting up herself.

"Okay well, let's start then!" I exclaimed, once I plopped myself on the bed. I patted the space next to me indicating for her to sit by me. She followed my suit and gently placed herself on the mattress. I put the copy of the poem between us, so that we could both read it properly.

"Okay, so like you already know the first poem is titled "_To a Lady Seen for a Few Moments at Vauxhall"_. Aaand I read it earlier on, aaand I don't get it." I said bluntly.

"Read it." She said.

'I already read it." I answered, not really understanding her.

"Not like _that_. I mean, read it now. Out loud. Read it." She ordered.

"Okay …" I let out a hesitantly.

"So … I have to warn you; my poetry-voice sucks." I said meekly.

She rolled her eyes, and gestured to start reading.

"Okay … '_To a Lady Seen for a Few Moments at Vauxhall'_

_Time's sea hath been five years at its slow ebb,  
Long hours have to and fro let creep the sand,  
Since I was tangled in thy beauty's web,   
And snared by the ungloving of thine hand.  
And yet I never look on midnight sky,  
But I behold thine eyes' well memory'd light;  
I cannot look upon the rose's dye,  
But to thy cheek my soul doth take its flight.  
I cannot look on any budding flower,   
But my fond ear, in fancy at thy lips  
And hearkening for a love-sound, doth devour  
Its sweets in the wrong sense: - Thou dost eclipse  
Every delight with sweet remembering,  
And grief unto my darling joys dost bring.._" I said, ending the last part breathlessly.

"So…" she said.

"So, I still don't get it." I let out frustrated.

"See, that's your problem. You're focusing too much on the 'understanding' part. You don't analyze a poem just like _that_." She said while snapping her fingers for emphasis.

"Than how do I do it." I whined.

"Well for starters. You read the poem for a few times, not just once." She chuckled.

"Okay, I get it. Read poem more than once." I moaned.

"Then you search for possible word groups."

"Word groups?" I asked.

"Word groups." She replied.

"Okay, care to enlighten me any further …"

"Well, if you look carefully you'll see that there are a couple of words that belong to the same group: word groups." She stated matter-of-factly.

"Sounds logical."

"It is logical. Look.", she said while pointing to the poem with a pencil "The poem starts with the word 'Time', and if you read further you'll read several other words that indicate time. You got: 'five years', 'Long hours', 'midnight'. And next to that you also got words that _imply_ time, like: 'slow', 'Since', 'never', 'memory'd', 'remembering'-"

" 'For a few moments' .." I interrupted. "Titles count too, right?"

"Right." She grinned.

"So what does this tell us exactly?" I asked suddenly engrossed.

"Well, it tells us what this poem focuses on."

"Time?"

"Pretty much, yeah." She shrugged.

"And that's it? The poem is about_ time_?"

"Hang on Princess. That's part 1 of the analyses. There are several other word groups in there." She stated while motioning towards the paper.

"Which ones." I asked.

"Uh, last time I checked this was a partner-assignment." She snorted.

"Oops, sorry. It's just that you seem to be this big poetry-specialist and I'm .. _not_."

"Well, you're here to learn." She beamed.

"Okay, so um. 'Midnight sky', 'rose's dye', 'budding flower' what does that lead too?" she asked while staring my in the eye.

"I don't know .. Nature?" I alleged, tentatively.

"Exactly. And 'eyes', 'cheek', 'lips'? she enquired.

"Faces?"

"Bingo."

"So that's like two extra word groups?" I asked

"Yes."

"So the poem is about time, nature and faces?"

"Okay. You really need to learn to look deeper into things and start making some links." She laughed.

"Ugh, I'm never gonna get this right." I replied annoyed at my stupidity.

"Relax, you're trying too hard. Poetry isn't about trying, and thinking your brains out. It's about feeling. It's about the emotions you feel when the words roll over your tongue. Close your eyes." She whispered.

"What?"

"Just close your eyes. Everything comes a lot easier in the dark. Just try it." She urged.

I think back about the New Year Eve and about the sensations I felt in that idyllic darkness, and my eyelids close on cue.

"Now I'm gonna read a small verse, just try to keep the word groups in the back of your mind."

I rested my head against the headboard, completing my relaxation and continued listening to her soothing voice.

"I cannot look upon the rose's dye, but to thy cheek my soul doth take its flight. I cannot look on any budding flower, but my fond ear, in fancy at thy lips." She read.

"What do you think that he means."

"Um, he seems to be comparing her features with nature's feature's?" I assumed hesitantly.

"Yes and …"

"And I think that he just is reminded by her all the time. Everywhere where he looks she's there." I said, more fluently and sure of myself than a few moments ago.

"Good start. Okay, listen. What about this: Every delight with sweet remembering,  
And grief unto my darling joys dost bring."

"I … I don't know." I answered.

"Okay, that's alright. I assume you know the song 'yesterday' by The Beatles?" She asked.

"Yes, but I don't understand what-"

"Just hear me out. I'll say the first sentences of the verses and you the end alright?"

"Okay." I responded, now fully trusting her.

"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay …" she started.

" I believe in yesterday" I continued.

"Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be. There's a shadow hanging over me …"

"Yesterday, came suddenly "

"Why she had to go, I don't know. She wouldn't say. I said something wrong …"

"Now I long, for yesterday"

"Okay. Now think about all those parts you just said. What do you notice?" she questioned.

"I .. I don't know. I really don't Alex!" I let out desperately.

"Yes, you do! Just let the words gently linger in your head."

I long for yesterday. I believe in yesterday. Yesterday came suddenly. Okay so obviously yesterday was great. That's it. Yesterday _was_ great, not _is_ great.

"It's a contradiction." I supposed.

"How's that?"

"He longs, he believes in something that already passed. He says that it 'came suddenly', but it can't cause it already happened." I explained.

"Alright, now listen to me again: Every delight with sweet remembering,   
And grief unto my darling joys dost bring.

"It's a contradiction." I said while smiling broadly

"How so?" she chuckled, sensing my excitement.

"The 'sweet remembering' is at the same time the cause of his 'grief'. His pleasure and his pain are inseparable. Thus it's paradoxical." I clarified.

"Yes that's-"

"And it's not the only thing that's paradoxical." I cut her short. " Can you repeat the part about the budding flower." I asked.

"I cannot look on any budding flower, but my fond ear, in fancy at thy lips.  
And hearkening for a love-sound, doth devour its sweets in the wrong sense."

"When he sees a flower he thinks about the lady's lips. But instead of looking at the flower or smelling the flower he's 'hearkening for a love-sound'. He's listening to it, which explains 'the wrong sense'."

"Congratulations." She said while softly clapping in her hands.

"For what."

"You just analysed your first poem."

"I should call mom, so that she can take a picture of this proud moment." I chuckled.

"You know, you can open your eyes now."

"Oh, sorry. Got carried away." I said with a flushed face.

"Darkness can be enlightening sometimes." She said huskily.

"It sure can …" I replied, thinking whether or not that last statement had a deeper meaning.

"So in conclusion we can say that the poem is obviously about a paradox of memory in bringing joy, but also in blinding us to the joys around us. Because the guy … now you fill in the next part." She said.

"Uhm, the guy can't appreciate what's in front of his eyes right _here _and right _now_, like nature, cause it reminds him of something that happened it the past. Kinda like in 'yesterday'." I said while smiling slyly.

"Good. Very good. So you think that he would've been better off if he never saw her?" she asked, now not letting go of gaze at any time.

"I don't know. I guess so, obviously this John guy suffered from it."

"I'm not asking John, I'm asking you." She said dead-serious.

"I guess, he'd be better off without her. It's not like she became his significant other later on or whatever." I assumed while motioning with hands.

"Because he chickened out, he didn't go up to her like he wanted to. It's his on fault that his pleasure is connected to his pain. If he had indeed never seen her, he would've never felt that passionate intensity of 'his soul in flight'. He would've never written those beautiful words down, like millions of other people who were in that same situation. So maybe, by writing down those words he was trying to let us learn from his mistakes. Maybe .." She whispered, eyes firmly locked onto mine.

I wanted say so many words. I wanted to express my feelings, my emotions in sweetest of serenades. But nothing came out. Inwardly I was screaming, declaring my love on top of lungs, outwardly I was as mute as a fish. Another paradox.

"Um, it's getting late. I should probably get going." She said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Okay." I said timidly.

We stood up from the bed and I lead her downstairs in utter silence. I opened the front-door and just as Alex was making her way out, I called her back.

"Thank you."

"Hey, I'm always open to share my poetry-wisdom." She joked.

"No, not that. I mean thank you, for tonight. I haven't had this much since, well … ever." I stated shyly.

"Anything for a Princess I guess." She winked.

I smiled, for what seemed like umpteenth time that day. Surely my laughing muscles, will be hurting like a bitch tomorrow. Did I honestly just think that?

"See you tomorrow in English?"

"What, no confrontation in the hallway this week?" she asked in mock shock.

"I wouldn't miss for the world." I smiled.

And then, without even thinking straight or give any warning, I hugged her. And I'm talking about a friendly 'hug', I'm talking about a 'hug' hug. I could feel the tension and surprise in her body at first, but she eventually gave in and returned the gesture, though far more appropriately than mine. We got out of each others embrace, locked eyes one last time and eventually retreated ourselves. She to the obscurity of the street and me to the safety of my house. I leaned against the door, head faced to the ceiling and wondered whether tomorrow I, too, would be longing for yesterday.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Two updates in one week? I must be in a pretty damn well mood. It's 3.15 AM, where I'm at right not so it's safe to say I'm beat. But I really hope you enjoy this chap. Keep on reviewing and see you next time.**

* * *

The days after our little poetry-night went by magnificently. Our connection was getting stronger and purer by the day. I only saw her on two occasions though. In English Lit and in the hallways when we'd decide it was time to have a little confrontation again. I was getting better and better into understanding the poems. I used to be so superficial when it came to them, pretty much like everything else in my whole life I guess. But Alex had taught me to read in between the lines and I soon found myself finding deeper meanings into everything. And I'm not just within the countless poetic words. I still had no idea what she was to me. But she defiantly started to shape into a very important 'something'. Our confrontations where more fuelled then ever. We called out the best lines, and just when one of us thought they'd won the other would come with a dazzling comeback. In the end, no matter who'd won or lost, we'd both leave with a huge grins on our faces. Perfectly civil in the classroom, yet so hostile in the décor of the hallways. And I loved it.

The last three days, I loved less. She was absent, three days in a row. Nothing heard from her. English Lit was beyond boring. Suddenly analyzing poems wasn't that engrossing anymore. The hallways I just tried to avoid. Go to locker, pick books, go to classroom, end class, return books in locker and leave the hell out of there. It was only then that I realised how drastically my life changed over the last few weeks. I used to need her for that war of words once a week, just so that I could feel good. I couldn't care less about the rest. Now I find myself craving her and finding my life mind-numbing without her. Even if we didn't saw each other all that much, just the thought that she was in the same building as my soothed my mind. At first I thought that she was probably just a little sick or she simply didn't feel like going to school so she ditched a day. But three days in a row? Though she'll probably never admit it, I know she enjoys going to school. I used to assume that she was probably one of those brainless badasses but she proved me wrong on so many levels. As her intelligence seemed to stretch so much further than mine.

The fact that she didn't come the last few days meant that something was wrong, and I wanted to know exactly what. That's why I was in her building, in front of her door actually, standing here for the last ten minutes urging myself to knock on the damn piece of wood already. One, two, three gentle knocks on the door. One knock for every day she missed, everyday I missed her.

I heard some faint noises on the other side of the door, first of footsteps then of fiddling with the locks. And the door swung open.

"Paige?" she asked surprised

She looked like hell. Black eye, busted lip, and a slightly swollen cheek. Something was up alright. Incapable of forming any coherent sentences and without even thinking, I shifted my hand to her cheek and carefully stroked the bruised marks. I felt her lean into the touch and her eyes fluttered for a brief moment, letting her guard down before harshly snapping back into reality and griping my wrist of off her face.

"Where the hell did you get this address from?" she snapped harshly.

"I … Ms. Hatzilakos gave it to me. I tricked her in to giving it to me so we could work for our assignment." I let out hesitantly, my eyes never leaving her battered face.

"Well, don't worry Princess. I'm gonna give you my part, no need to worry about your perfect GPA." she said in her ever sarcastic mood.

"Like I said: I tricked her. I didn't came down here for that."

"Then why did you?" she grunted.

"Cause I was worried about you." I said truthfully.

"Yeah right." She chuckled.

"I was, okay. And seems I had a right to be."

"Look, nobody's worried about me okay?" she hissed as she glared me in the eye.

"Alex, that isn't true. I wouldn't be here if it were." I said.

She stared down for a second, crossing her arms over her chest. Only to gaze back at me again, with fire-filled eyes.

"Two years ago, I didn't go to school for three weeks. I had three broken ribs, a broken nose and a concussion. Nobody came to see me in the hospital and nobody came to see when I was at home. Not even a call. And when I went back to school, nobody was there to tell me where I was or how I was doing. Nobody even noticed my absence. Where the hell were you then, huh." She whispered in an iced voice. Angered eyes, never leaving mine.

Those words were painful to hear. Cause they were painfully true. Truth hurts. And it hurt badly.

"Two years ago, I was a moron who cared more about her clothing than the sake of any human being. I'm not that moron anymore." I said sincerly

"Than who are you?" she asked, voice slightly croaked.

"I'm a moron who cares about you."

I raise my hand to her face again. Gently tracing a line from under her eye, over her cheek and alongside her busted lip. She didn't lean into my touch this time, but she didn't back away neither.

"Who did this to you?" I whispered.

"Look, it's no big deal. I was planning on going back to school tomorrow so .." she said as she softly lowered my hand from her face.

"Alex, have you looked at yourself? I do think it's a big deal okay." I said worriedly.

"I don't want to talk about it. You should go home okay. We'll work on our assignment in class." She said as she slowly retrieved from the hallway.

"I'm not leaving you here." I said while crossing my arms

"What? I live here, you got no choice."

"Yes, I do. You're going to come with me."

"No, I'm going to stay here I'm not going anywhere, okay." She said annoyed.

"Okay. Then I'm staying too." I shrugged.

"What?" she asked in disbelief.

"If you're staying here, I'm staying with you. Either way, I'm not leaving you alone."

"You can't stay here. You have no idea- .. You can't stay here, okay?" she said, the ast part being barely audible.

"Then come with me." I whispered soothingly.

I left her no choice. And I knew, for some reason I might not want to know immediately, she was never going to let me stay here. She brought her hand into her tousled hair, before letting out a loud groan.

"Fine. Let me just get some stuff."

I smiled slyly and followed her into her living room, and further into her bedroom. Her bedroom was nothing like mine, that's sure. Whereas mine was pinkish and filled with kitsch, hers was dark and extremely simplified. Her bed was unmade which led me to think that she was sleeping until I spotted an opened book with the cover up. She was reading. I inched closer to the bed to take a quick glance at the cover, trying hard not to look like a nosey person, when in reality I was one of the worst.

'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho, it read. It was one of those titles you'd heard about in class. You know, those books teachers would rave about and ensure us it would boggle our minds if we read it. Off course we all would think the teacher was mad. I mean, who reads books titled 'The Alchemist' out of own interest? Well, nobody. Nobody except Alex it seemed.

I glanced back up and I found Alex frantically searching through her drawers. I leave her doing her thing and take the chance to take a further glance of the room. There was a bookshelf in one corner of the room, filled with dozens and dozens of books. Large books, booklets, magazines, every thing you could possible read was cramped in that small space. Needless to say, Alex liked reading. I looked a little further and found another intriguing piece in the room. No reading-material this time. But an acoustic guitar. Alex played the guitar?

"I'm done. Can we leave now?" she said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I look at her hand and I find her barely holding her backpack. What was she looking for so long, only to leave with her backpack?

"Okay, we can take my car."

She nods, and steps out of the bedroom. I follow her as she was about to open the door.

"Aren't you going to leave a note?" I asked innocently.

"Like they'd notice I'm even gone." She muttered bitterly under her breath.

* * *

"Do you wanna eat something? I make excellent microwave-meals." I said in a sing-song.

"No, I'm not really hungry." She said expressionless.

"Okay. Do you want to catch a movie then. I got some very cheesy dvd's if you like?" I chuckled.

"No, not really in the mood."

"Do you want talk about it," I asked more hesitantly.

"No … Not now." She said while fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

"Okay." I said with a sly smile, happy about the second part of the sentence. Well yeah, 'happy'. I'd probably not be too happy about the continence of it.

"Would you mind if I just went to sleep a little early. I'm just really tired right know, I haven't really slept the last few days." She asked

"No, I'm okay with it. Actually, I think I'm going to hit the sack too. I'm pretty much beat myself."

"Okay, um I'm going to sleep on the floor." She said while motioning to the ground.

"Alex, you're not going to sleep on the floor." I chuckled.

"No really, it's cool. I'm okay with it."

"Alex, you're my guest. I'd be a terrible hostess if I let you sleep on that back-breaking floor. I'm gonna crash on the couch downstairs, you can take the bed."

"No, no, no! You take the bed, it's yours." She urged.

"Look, why don't we just both take the bed? It might be a little cramped, but it sure as hell will be more comfortable than the cold floor or the minuscule couch." I laughed.

"Okay." She let out shyly. This was a whole new Alex I saw in front of me. Unsure, fragile and very much breakable.

"Alex, you can relax you know. I'm not going to kill you if you breathe or whatever." I said, trying to lighten the mood.

She simply nodded as she went to sit on the edge of the bed. She looked terrible, really. Every movement and every word she let out was hollow. A zombie had nothing on her right now. I walked up to the bed and kneeled in front of her. Her eyes were piercing a hole through the floor. I doubted she even noticed me. I moved my hand up to her face again, and moved the auburn tresses from eyes to behind her ears. Her eyes were still fixated on the floor. I stand up head to the switch and turn the lights off. Dim light of the moon, peeked through the blinds and filled the room with a faint glow. I take her hand and lift her to her feet, in order to remove the sheets off properly. I tuck her in, like a mother would tuck her 5-year old child. I walk to my side of the bed and gently enter in between the freshly washed sheets.

She's trembling. She's trembling and her breathing was at anything but a normal pace. I shift closer, not sure whether I should take her out of bed and bring her to nearest by hospital, or simply be there for her. I realise, that no doctor in the world could possible help her at this very moment. What she needed was comfort. She needed to know, that somebody did care about her. And I was about to show her that. I moved as close as I could get. Her back was now into my front. Our bodies moulded in each other perfectly. I was spooning her, and God did it feel good. I swung my arm around her waist and threaded my fingers with hers. She didn't back away, nor did she lean into the touch. But it soothed her. Her breathing found a normal pace again and the tremble left her body. I grazed my thumb over the palm of her hand cradling her into sleep. Soon, I felt her heart-rhythm slow down and her body fall heavy into mine. I waited for a while until I was sure that she was sound asleep. I then leaned in and placed a kiss on the velvety skin of her shoulder, before snuggling into her even more. Lost in the scent of her skin and tangled in the beauty of her body, I followed her into a different world.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Updateeeeee! I absolutely loved your reviews, and I couldn't help but update. I hope you'll like this chapter and keep on reviewing. Also I'll update my other fic, in the next week. Tuesday will be my last mid-terms and I'll have two weeks off. So hopefully lots of updates. See you soon!**

* * *

The streaming sunlight woke me up in the early morning. Still half-asleep, I tried to turn around but found out I was trapped. I looked down and felt her body pressed tightly against mine with her hand draped over my stomach and her head nuzzled in the crook of my neck. It was probably the first time in these past few days, that she was fully at peace. And I was in no way going to ruin that for her. School will just have to miss her for another day. And since I'm determined to be there for her, they'll have to miss me too. I glanced back at her and revelled the angelic sight that the daybreak brought with her. The rays felt softly on her cheek and exposed shoulder, making you almost forget about the sorrow she had to undergo. I didn't want to wake her up, but the urge to touch her was to great. I lifted my hand, and started stroking her hair ever so gently. I stopped when I felt her stir a little, afraid that I had woken her up. But instead of waking up, she nestled her head into me even more and let out a barely audible sigh. I swathed my arm around her waist and let myself drift back into a blissful sleep.

* * *

"Paige, Paige, wake up." I heard her whisper while she gently nudging me out of sleep. Paige, she called me Paige again. It was only the second time she called me by my name. I was getting accustomed to hearing her call me Princess. I'm glad she decided to change that.

"Ugh, Princesses have to wake up too you know." She said annoyed.

Yup, spoke too soon.

"I'm up, I'm up." I said while fluttering my eyes open.

"We're late." She whined.

"I know."

"So, why don't you wake up and get ready?" She asked slightly confused.

"Cause, we're ditching." I shrugged.

"You ditch?"

"Duh."

"You? Princess? You ditch?" she asked with a cocked eye-brow.

"Okay, so I'm not a ditch-expert. But once, I was 'supposedly' sick and didn't went to school, and instead of staying in bed I went to the mall." I said while grinning.

"…." She said nothing while staring at me disbelievingly.

"Okay, actually it was more the 7/11 behind the corner. I was scared as hell I would get caught, so I was back in like 5 minutes." I said embarrassed.

"I knew you weren't a ditcher." she smirked.

"Look I woke up earlier, and you were kinda halfway on top of me and I didn't really wanted to wake you up so I just went back to sleep." I explained.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I have no idea what I do in my sleep." She said tentively.

"No biggie."

"What about your parents?" she asked.

"What about them?"

"Are they cool with this?"

"Hell no. But they're like never home anyway. I mean they leave to work at the crack of dawn, and they come back quite late. And they have like these million meetings and formal soirées. So I barely get to see them." I clarified while getting up.

"Are you okay with that?" She asked while fidgeting with the end of the sheet.

"Yeah, I mean I'd like to see them more and all but I know they love me. You know, they could be around all the time but if they don't really love me, what's the use? And we have like one Saturday in the month that we do some embarrassing family-stuff like bowling in icky shoes at the local alley. But yeah, it's not easy but it could be worse."

"Yeah." She said meekly while lowering her head in her lap. I'm just a champion when it comes to ruining the mood, aren't I?

"Um, I'll go and fix us some breakfast." I said, changing the subject.

"You make breakfast?" she chuckled.

"If pouring cereal and milk in a bowl is considered as fixing breakfast, then yes I can." I said in mock sincerity.

"Okay, that sounds good." She laughed.

"Alrighty then. Bathroom is across the hall and I got some fresh comfy clothes in my closet. Don't worry, it's not all pink and baby blue." I assured her jokingly.

"Thanks, I'll be down in a sec."

I headed downstairs and quickly prepared us some breakfast. I took my seat at the table and silently awaited her to come down. If you had told me a month ago that I would be waiting for Alex Nuñez to have breakfast with me, at my place, after sleeping in the same bed together I would've declared you a right out nutcase. But here it is happening anyway. And it wasn't just that. I was gradually starting to form some sort of … I don't know … feelings?

When she kissed me, and I know _she_ kissed me no matter how much she denies it, I thought that I only felt that way because it was such a rush. It was wrong, but it felt so right. Straight Paige, Princess Paige, head cheerleader Paige, Queen Bee Paige, was heavily making out and thoroughly enjoying every second of it, with Badass Alex, Bitch Alex, Poor Alex, Lonely Alex, _Girl _Alex. It was oh so wrong, but it felt so damn good. I played it down to the rush. The adrenaline. The fact that I could get caught in a compromising position with the school-outcast in the middle of the club, while my 'boyfriend' was searching for his damsel in distress. Little did he know that distress was the last thing I felt that moment.

But the emotions I felt lied so much deeper than that. I was intrigued by her. She was consuming my thoughts and I soon found myself longing for her company at all times of the day. I felt miserable in the three days that I hadn't seen. I'm talking about no sleep, no hunger, no mood in nothing-kinda miserable. I made a small conclusion last night. Alex was my _something_. That I already knew. But what exactly was still a mystery. Was she my friend? Was she my lover? Was she my foe? I guess in a way, she's all three.

In a parallel world I wouldn't need to answer that question, and me and Alex would just be. But this isn't a parallel world. So I decided to seclude one. Alex wasn't my foe. She never was. I only assumed she was since we clashed since the day we met. But we didn't clash because we were each others foe's, we clashed because we each others equals. We were both strong, but there's only place for one top spot within a school, and it was mine.

Nobody ever even remotely tried to push me of my throne, but when Alex stepped in Degrassi she made it her life-reasoning. The thing is, I'm 99 percent sure that she didn't want to take in my spot, she simply did it because she could. She enjoyed it. I know she enjoyed it, just like I enjoyed and revelled each of our altercations. Did that make us foe's? No. It made us teenagers that did things out of own satisfaction. The same satisfaction that we reached for when we kissed each other passionately. You don't kiss your foe, and you don't constantly fight your lover either. So she was my _friend_?

"Penny for your thoughts?" She said, saving me from my inner-battles.

"Oh. Sorry. I kinda fazed out." I apologized.

"It's okay. We all got a lot on our minds." She said as she took a seat at the table.

"I didn't want to pour the milk into it already, it would've made it all mushy."

"Thanks." She said as she poured the milk into the bowl and slowly started eating up the Fruit loops.

I followed her lead, and we sat there silently eating our cereals. The room only filled with the crunching noises we produced. Every once and awhile we'd look up from our bowls and catch one staring at the other. Only to quickly look back down and act as if nothing occurred. We finished our bowls and continued sitting there, silently. She'd look around the kitchen, trying to find something on which she could fixate her eyes on, and I'd boldly watched her.

"You really should get that cut cleaned." I said ending the silence.

"I'll live." She stated flatly.

"Aleeeex." I said annoyed.

"Princeeeess." She mimicked my tone.

"Just get it cleaned. Those can get really nasty, if you leave them like that."

"Well, that's my problem then." She said rolling her eyes.

"You're in my house, so you live by my rules. Rules here are that a cut gets cleaned."

"You gotta be kidding me. You practically kidnapped me, to come down here and now you're using it to your advantage?"

"What can I say, I'm sweetheart." I said as I over-batted my eyes.

"I'm not gonna get it cleaned. That shit hurts too much." She winced.

"God, you're such a wuss. Besides, if you won't let me clean it, I'm gonna tell everyone in school that you spend the night in the Princess' Castle." I teased.

"Talk, and Flea Market Paige will be your new nickname down at Degrassi." She threatened.

"You promised!" I shrieked.

"Yeah, well if the circumstances are deer …"

"Geez, I was just kidding. Never mind already." I said while rolling my eyes. "But let me clean that cut? Please, Alex? Pwetty pwease." I pouted and gave her my best puppy dog eyes.

"Ugh, fine! As long as it will get you off my back." She said while rolling her eyes.

"Score!" I joked, while jumping out of my chair.

"I swear, you're only happy cause you want to see me squirm of pain." She snorted.

"Okay, you got me." I laughed while I reached for the First Aid kit, from the cupboard. I sauntered to Alex who was now casually leaning against the kitchen counter, tantalizingly waiting for her torture.

"Okay, it's best if you sit on the counter." I said while opening the Kit searching for the alcohol pads. She followed my instruction and carefully placed herself on top of it.

"Found them." I said while showing off the pads.

"Damn it." She muttered under her breath.

"Alex, stop being such a baby." I said while rolling my eyes.

"Easy for you to say." She grumbled. I ignored her comment and placed myself in front of her. She instantly opened her legs, to give me the leverage I needed to fulfil the job. The laughs, and complaints left the room while I kindly leant into to her. I brought the pad to her face and gently started rubbing the cut that draped her right cheek, while holding the other one with my free hand. She winced and I mumbled of few sorry's before continuing my job. Her eyes fluttered shut while my cleansing-motions, but lazily re-opened once I stopped the gesture. The cut was cleaned, my work was done, yet I was still standing in front her, hand on her cheek, my stomach softy pressed in her thighs.

Our eyes locked, and neither one of us had the urge to shut them for a second, let alone look away. My hand shifted from her left cheek and I started tracing her lips with my finger. From one end to the other, softly grazing the small bud of dried blood that decorated it. Her eyes were fuelled with desire and want. _Friends_ don't look at each other that way. I feel her place her hand on my stomach, only to shift it over my waist to the small of my back. My eyes leave hers to admire her swollen lips. Not swollen by the pain she had to endure a couple of days ago, but swollen by the pleasure she's enduring now. I lean closer and closer …Our breaths are rapid and warm. It wasn't dark, it wasn't unexpected, it was different. We both wanted this. She wasn't my foe, she wasn't my friend, she wasn't my lover. She was my ….

Ring!

"Fuck." I hissed, as I placed my head on her shoulder. I let out a sigh of frustration before I took a step back. She rapidly jumped off the counter and ran out of the kitchen, not giving me a single look through the process.

"What?" I yelled, not even bothering to check the caller ID.

"Hello to you too."

"You gotta be kidding me." I laughed bitterly.

"What can't a boy check on his favourite girl."

Out of all people that could ruin this moment. My imaginary boyfriend did it. As if he knew I was about to cheat on him. God, what's to cheat?!

"Spin, I'm not your girl, okay."

"Yes you are, silly. You're my girlfriend." He laughed.

"No I'm not! Will you get that straight for a moment; I am not your girlfriend!" I yelled.

"I don't get it. You're just breaking up with me out of the blue?" he asked confused.

"We never got back together! I've been trying to ignore you for weeks, but you just won't take a hint. So please, do me and yourself a favour and leave me alone. I'm not interested in you, okay?"

"But how can you be the Queen Bee without your Honey Bee?" he asked still perplexed.

"I'm not your Queen Bee, just get that straight, will ya."

"But we we're doing so great?"

"Ugh, nevermind. Bye Spin."

_Click_

I'm not your Queen Bee moron. I'm .. I'm Alex's Princess …


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Update! It's a smaller one then usual, but I'm sure you'll appreciate anything at this point ;-) Enjoy the read and don't forget to review afterwards. Reviews keeps me updating :p**

**Hope you'll like it, and see you back next time for more Palex-goodness!**

* * *

She left directly. I didn't even got the chance to glance at her. Let alone talk to her. The only thing I found, when I entered the solitude of my room was a crinkled piece of paper on top of my pillow.

_Had to go._

_Alex_

Nothing more. Nothing less. Enough to let the message seep through, insufficient to let me _in_. Again. I was holding the fumbled sheet tightly to my chest, while I desperately tried to catch some sleep. Actually, the piece of paper pretty much became my object of obsession that day. I must've traced her name a million times, hoping that like a genie would pop out of his bottle, Alex would suddenly appear in front of me if I just traced it long and carefully enough. It didn't work.

I brought the note to my lips and softly kissed it, before spraying it on my bedside table. It was close to midnight, and though it wasn't a school night, I knew that I needed my sleep. I attempted to forget the days event and cleared my mind from a certain dark haired mystery.

Eventually, sleep won over and I slowly but surely drifted off.

* * *

_Tick._

I stirred lightly.

_Tick._

I sluggishly opened my eyes, realizing that the sound wasn't produced in my dreams but very much in my own room.

_Tick._

I carefully swung my legs over the edge of the bed, and tried to anticipate from where the faint noise came.

_Tick._

My eyes shot up towards the opposite wall of my room. My window.

I cautiously got up and strolled over to the glass.

_Tick._

I carefully opened the blinds, half-expecting a murder with an axe, ready to go all Hitchcock on me. I peeked out once the blinds were half-up and squinted my hazy eyes to view through the obscurity of the night.

There she was. Pebbles in one hand and the other worriedly scrambling through her tousled tresses. We locked eyes for a moment, before I hurriedly headed down stairs. I opened the front door and faced an inhibited Alex, hands in pockets and eyes locked to the ground beneath her feet.

"I didn't want to go home." She let out hesitantly, still fixated on her shoes.

"I didn't knew where else to go." She continued as she brought up her gaze.

I didn't answer her. Well, not with words anyway. I took hold of her wrist, griping it out of her pocket and eventually laced fingers with hers. I drew her inside and quietly closed the door behind us. Still in the silence of the night, I lead her up the stairs and ultimately into my room. We let go of each others hands as we both soundlessly sat on the edge of my bed.

Minutes of deafening silence went by before she finally spoke up.

"I guess if I bargain in here at 3AM, I might as well explain why." She said, heaving a sigh.

"You don't have too." I said as I briefly touched her hand.

"Yes I do." She countered sternly.

I knew that I couldn't change her mind. And I wasn't about to.

"My … I …" she sighed unable, to find the right words to start the conversation.

"Look why don't we just lay down now, and you talk when you feel like it. No pressure." I assured her.

She nodded and we simultaneously got off the bed. I undraped the bed as she got in first, not bothering to change her attire. I quickly walked over to the window and lowered the blinds, before entering the bed myself. We faced each other, looking intently into each others eyes through the dim lit room. I saw her opening her mouth, before quickly shutting it again. She was still uncomfortable and I decided to help ease her mind. I shifted more closely to her and warily lifted my hand to caress her cheek. To my own surprise, she didn't flinch. Her breathing evened as she attempted to talk again.

"My step-dad hits me. Hits _us_. Badly." She heaved nervously.

A silence followed while I gently continued to stroke her face.

"It's a not daily thing, but it happens frequent enough. And when it happens, it can get _messy_. It used to be worse … but that's another story." She whispered shakily. I had moved even closer in the meantime and the space between us was now practically inexistent. She still didn't baulk.

"I had a pretty normal childhood until I was 8. Then everything changed for the worse." She let out sadly.

My hand was now draped around her waist and rubbing the small of her back soothingly. Assuring her to continue.

"I loved my dad. I really did. He wasn't perfect and he wasn't always there for me, but he loved me. And I loved him, and that was enough." She spoke quietly but firmly.

Silence.

"He died. Got hit by a car, the driver had drunken a little too much. He was waiting for the bus after work, and he gets hit out of the blue. He died almost immediately." She said emotionless.

A beat.

"Ironically, my mom started drinking after his death. You'd think she'd learn from other people's mistakes." She laughed bitterly.

"A series of scumbag boyfriends followed and me and my brother found comfort in each other." She carried on, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. As if that once she'd talked about it, all would be resolved.

I stopped the stroking after her last sentence. I didn't knew Alex had a brother? Sure, I didn't knew a lot of things about her, but a brother I would've at least heard off.

"My mom was never the same. Our relationship just wasn't there anymore. But Esteban and me really grew to each other very closely and he practically took over the father-role. He meant everything to me. He was all I needed. But then he left me too."

My heart instantly started aching, as I braced myself for the rest. I suddenly understood why I hadn't noticed of heard off him and I immediately felt sickened.

Two beats.

"I was fourteen at that time. There was this gang-war going on around my neighbourhood. The Latinos were slowly grasping the power in the dealing area and the Blacks, the former leading drug-gang, wouldn't take it. Tension rose and Esteban was at the wrong place on the wrong time." She continued bravely.

Three beats.

"The thing is, my brother was a rolemodel in our area. He had more then decent grades, never ever got into any trouble _and _he was this aspiring musician." She laughed softly.

"I mean he wasn't the next Bob Dylan, but he had his share of dreams. He was content just strumming his guitar in a train station, pleasing the passer-by's. Never selfish, always caring. Perfect. And look where it got him." She snapped harshly.

"I lost it all Paige. Everything. Everything I loved, I lost." She said choked up.

It finally dawned to me. John Keats. Alex _was_ John Keats.

"_Keats was like this genius English lyrical poet. You know, he was the archetype of the English Romantic movement. He had like the most amazing works, but nobody appreciated it. He was constantly criticized for no apparent reason. Everything that meant something in his life, was brutally destroyed. His dad died in an accident when he was like eight, his mom died of tuberculoses when he was 14, and he spend like a huge chunk of his life taking caring of his brother who also had tuberculoses before he finally died too._

The sudden death of her father. The loss off a brother who she was attached too. A mother who didn't die _yet_, but could very soon leave her too due to her alcoholic state and crazy beatings she had to endure. An underappreciated and overly-criticized genius.

… _He was madly in love with a girl who he knew he would never get._

Was I that girl?

I lifted my hand to remove the tresses of her eyes, before I appealingly stroked the locks behind her ear.

"You haven't lost me." I whispered.

I took her hand to my lips and kissed each of her knuckles, lovingly.

"You won't lose me." I promised.

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Could it be? An update already? Sure as hell is. I'd like to thank you guys, for the awesome reviews of the last chapter. If _you're_ happy, than_ I'm_ happy! I know, that sounds like a slogan, from one of those crappy carsalesmen who end up totally ripping you off … anywayz, offtopic. I hope you'll like this chap too and obviously hope you'll keep on bringing the great reviews. Enjoy the read and see you next time!**

* * *

"Can you believe he actually said that?"

One sentence and my mind went blank. I had more worries than Hazel's obsessing over Jimmy's every move. I can't believe some people can be this superficial. Who am I kidding? I _am_ one of those people. Thinking that the right make-up, outfit and boyfriend will magically result in the right life. I judged enough people over their poor appearances. Over their so-called lack of fashion-sense. Their freakish behaviour. In class we'd always preach, that it wasn't right to judge a book by its cover. Yet we'd do it all the time. The worst thing is, that we're totally conscious about it. And we keep on doing it. As if it's absolutely normal. Oh yeah, I judged. I still judge, and I'll probably will never stop. But at least this time, I'm willing to work on it.

And all it took me, was one mystic persona. Countlessly judged, namely by me. Why? She wasn't like, us. She wasn't like me. And it's true, she wasn't. She was better than me. She _is_ better than me.

" …Anyway, I'm _so_ over him."

Was she still talking? Damn. See, this would be a perfect time to _judge_ her. But I'm stronger than that. I just need to fight the urge to do so. But she's so damn … Calm down, Paige! Think peaceful sea. Think birds chirping in the free nature. Talking about nature, what the hell was Cause girl wearing today? Damn it Paige, no judging remember? Ok think .. think Alex.

Hmm, Alex. Yeah, I liked that thought. She finally opened up to me last Friday. The first words were the hardest, but once those were out, there was no stopping her anymore. So much pain, so much grief, all cramped up in one person. One life. My heart ached, after her confessions. It isn't fair that she has to endure what she's enduring. It's not fair that her pain can't and won't be undone. And still it happened, and it will keep on happening. I judged this girl. I judged a dramatic, yet beautiful book, by it's pale cover. I felt disgusted. And I still do. I judged and I'll probably keep on judging. But I'll work on it. Damn well, I'll work on it.

There she was. In the corner at the back of the caf'. Poking her food. Her face had cleared up a bit. You could barely see the remains of the painful event she had to suffer. The physical remains weren't apparent. But the emotional strain was still there. It was always in her eyes. That soreness, that pain. You could read her story through those two orbs. It was always there. I just never seemed to notice. Just like the rest in this school. Alex, was the lonely heartless badass. The rebel without a cause. She was that to me too. But not anymore.

It wasn't even the confessions that changed my perception of her. Or our poetic night-out. No. It was the moment, that her lips touched mine. Every wall she'd put up fell that very moment. Every secret she had, was shared through that one kiss. That moment I discovered the real Alex. I keep wondering. Was I really oblivious to who kissed me that moment? Did I _really_ not realise at that very point that, the mystery person was Alex? Maybe I did. Maybe I always knew who the real Alex was, and I just didn't want to face the truth. Maybe.

" .. And I'm just thinking: how could I ever been with him?"

God. Talk much? Relax, Paige. Remember: no judging.

"Um, that's great hun. I'm gonna go to Alex for a sec."

"God, you're taking that poetry-assignment _way_ to serious. You know Kwan likes to exaggerate." She said while rolling her eyes.

"I'm not going for the poetry-assignment." I countered dead-serious.

"Than why the hell, do you voluntary want to go and to talk to_ that_?" She asked disgusted.

"_She_ has a name." I responded irritated.

"Yeah, trailer-trash." She snorted.

"You say that one more time, and I swear I'll make your life a living hell." I threatened her in an icy voice.

"What the hell's wrong with you? First you break-up with Spinner for no reason and now you're dissing me in favour of _that_." She argued dramatically.

"Alex. I'm dissing you in favour of Alex. And yes I am. And if you want it to stop, than end the hating-charade cause it's getting old. You can start hanging with me again when you're done growing up." I said as I left her behind, completely speechless.

I headed for Alex's table, as she was still picking her food. I quietly sat down across of her. She was still fascinated by the continents of her meal when I startled her with my voice.

"Found anything alive, yet." I asked.

"Huh." She said confused, as she looked up from her plate.

"In your food. I'm pretty sure, whatever's in it isn't dead, yet." I snickered.

"Oh. Yeah, Degrassi isn't really known for it's fine cuisine." She said while arching her brows.

The picking-and-stare-at-your-food-fest continued as I tried to keep the conversation going.

"You left early Saturday. I woke up and I had to ponder whether your visit was real or only happened in my dream." I said while gawking through the large window behind Alex.

"What convinced you that it was real?"

"The sheets still had your scent on it." I said, while fixating my gaze back on her.

Back to staring at the food. Okay, this scene was slowly becoming the definition of awkward.

"I'm sorry I left. I just didn't want you to get in trouble." She said, trying to explain her sudden departure.

"Alex, that's bullshit and you know it. I already told you that my parents are barely around the house." I countered slightly agitated.

Silence. She looked back down and seemed genuinely lost for words.

"Look, I meant what I said Friday. But you have to trust me. You can't let me in for a moment, and then completely shut me off again." I clarified more calmly this time.

"I wasn't planning on shutting you off." She said sincerely as she met my stare.

"Good, cause I wasn't planning on letting you shutting me off." I smiled.

"Princess is persistent." She sniggered.

"Always." I smirked.

"Thank you." She said from under her breath.

"For what?" I asked curiously.

"For caring … I guess."

"Well, that isn't too hard." I smiled truthfully.

She nodded shyly and handed me a sly smile, when I continued my statement.

" … When you're not being a diva anyway." I sneered.

"Cause, _I'm_ the one who acts like a diva?" She chuckled disbelievingly.

"Yeah! You could really learn a lot from a true, sweet and humble person. Say someone like _me_." I smiled innocently.

She laughed at my attempted innocence, and threw an untouched baby-carrot at me.

"Ew! Don't do that. That thing might just bite me." I said, while throwing the offending vegetable back at her.

"Come with me tonight." She said after a few quiet moments.

"Where too?" I asked, surprised at the invitation.

"Just a place I tend to go to, once and awhile." She answered cryptically.

"I don't know …" I said warily.

"Do_ you_ trust me?" she asked.

"Yes." I answered firmly, without a moment of hesitation.

"Than what's the problem?"

"There isn't any." I smiled.

"Good." She said while mirroring my smile. "I'll come by at 7 at your place. And don't worry, I'll knock this time." She winked as she stood up and left me alone with her seven-course-meal.

Was this a … date? I mean where the hell is she taking me? Oh for God's sake, this could be Mc D's she talking about. Or maybe, she wasn't. Maybe she was going to sway me a little further in that whirlwind of hers. For the first time in my life, I don't mind being lost. Cause I was lost in _her_.

I, Paige Michalchuck, was willing to change. I was willing to dump my so-called boyfriend, to diss my side-kick, to stop being superficial and to stop judging. I wish I could say, I was doing it for me. That I was doing it because I came to my own realisation that I was wrong. But I couldn't. I was doing it for her. I was doing for that dark-haired enigma, that I was solving little by little every single day.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Update! Yup, it's that time again. Before you read it, I'd like to explain the lack of 'action' if you know what I mean. I plan to take this relationship slow and steady. Explore different facets instead of just jumping into the action. That might sound paradoxical, since you got to experience quite some action in the very first chapter of this story. But Alex and Paige didn't knew each other back then. For Paige, she was making out with a mystery person and for Alex .. yeah, well Alex is a very complex character isn't she? ;-)**

**Anywayz, I hope that you understand that and will keep reading this fic for its deeper meanings. Okay enough ranting, more reading! And reviewing off course ;-) Hope you enjoy it and see you next time.**

* * *

It was a secluded spot, far away from everything and everyone. The only noise that could be heard were those from the waves crashing against the large rocks in azure water. The sand underneath my palms added to the soothing effect and I briefly considered to never leave this place. It was damn gorgeous. The journey to this particular space, was everything but effortless. There wasn't a specific route towards this spot, which explains its deserted state and the charm that came with it. I had to climb rocks, jump from a mini-cliff and squeeze myself through various narrow bushes. I know, very much unlike me. I'm pretty sure I acclaimed numerous scraps and bruises on my legs, but whenever I was in trouble, Alex was there to catch me. And in the end that's all that really mattered.

We were laying on the sand next to one another, our upper bodies held up with our arms, quietly enjoying the breathtaking view in front of our eyes. We hadn't said a word since we arrived. Too baffled by the scene that was displaying to formulate any rational phrase. I closed my eyes at a certain point, and breathed in the eponymous scent of the sea.

"How did you find this place?" I asked, eyes still shut.

"I love the beach. I love to sink my hands into the sand. I love hearing the waves crash. I love the scent the sea produces. I love the calmness … It calms me." She explained, before briefly pausing.

"But I don't love sharing with other people. I'm selfish when it comes to this. I want it for my own. I want to relish it alone. I don't want to share it with people who're killing the beauty of it. So one day I decided to go on a little expedition and after days and days of exploration, I found this. It was perfect. It was mine. My secret place of sanity. Nobody comes to bother me here. I can just be me."

"Why did you bring me here? Aren't I one of those people?" I asked as I opened my eyes.

"No. You're not." She responded firmly, while gazing deeply into the darkness of the sea.

"What am I than?" I daringly asked her. Half-curious and half-wary of her answer.

She stayed silent as she closed her own eyes this time. I sighed of both aggravation and irritation, when I abruptly felt her thumb gently brush the side of my flattened hand on the sand. Astonished, I swiftly turned my head to face her, only to find her still with her eyes closed and a relaxed expression on her face. She was lazily circling the top of my hand, never losing its constant rhythm.

I always was the one who initiated the contact between us, any contact. And now she did. I never thought that such a simple act of touching would quicken my breathing as much as it quickened. Would let my stomach flutter, as much as it fluttered. But it did. Her touch was smooth, gentle and soothing. I was high on her touch. It felt like a highly addictive drug. And soon I'd be an incurable junkie.

"I did it." She said startling me out of my trance. I glanced at her, and her eyes were still firmly shut. Her thumb never stopping its movement.

"Did what?" I enquired.

"I kissed you. At the party. It was me." She revealed.

We both knew, that was never a doubt. We both knew who kissed who. Who touched who. Who longed who. But I needed this. We needed this. To hear this out loud. To be confronted with what happened. To examine what it was. Was it based on lust? Lies? Love? Pity? That one revelation was a crucial point in whatever this thing was, we had. It was our turning point.

"Thank you." I whispered. Knowing that I didn't need to give any further explanation on why I was grateful. I shifted my hand and intertwined my fingers with hers. The control was still with her though, as she mindlessly kept on rubbing the palm of my hand.

"Would you mind if I did it again?" she asked.

I could've easily played the oblivious girl and asked what she meant. But I didn't. I knew damn well what she meant. And I needed to answer this truthfully. Cause this, was our turning point.

"No." I replied.

A few moments passed before I could work up my on courage.

"Would you?" I hesitantly asked.

"I'm scared." She confessed.

"Don't be." I assured.

"No. It's funny. Cause I'm never scared. I don get scared. No matter what I went through, I never got scared. Ironically, fear, is a feeling I never had to undergo. And know I am. I'm scared."

Her hand was still in mine. Her thumb was still circling motives on my palm. Her eyes were still firmly shut. She was scared.

"_Darkness can be enlightening sometimes."_

"What are you scared off?" I questioned as I tightened my grip on her hand.

"This. Whatever this feeling is that I feel." She responded.

"I feel it too." I admitted.

"Are you scared?"

"I don't know. No. I don't think so." I ended steadily.

"Oscar Wilde said that the only way to get rid of a temptation is-"

"-to yield it. I know." I cut her off." Is that the answer for these feelings?"

"No. This isn't temptation. It's something bigger. It's more complicated." She explained quietly.

"Than what are we going to do about this?" I sighed.

"What do you want to do?"

If there was a master at dodging incoming questions and firing them back at you, Alex would be the one. But I didn't sigh. I didn't lose my nerve or ignore the inquisition. She deserved answers, just as much as I deserved mine.

"I want to be with you. I don't why and how. I can't explain it. But I just want to be with you. All the time and everywhere I am. I want you by my side. My heart throbs when you're not with me. You're my secret place of sanity." I said, barely taking a breath in between my declaration.

"I am with you. I always was. It was a very different bond, but we always were together." She assured.

We always were together. It's true. We always were connected. We were attached on so many different levels. We were tied firmly in a knot. A knot that seemed impossible to unbind.

"What do you want?" I suddenly asked, surprised by my own bluntness.

I seemed to have asked the million dollar question. She opened her eyes for what seemed like the first time in an eternity and turned her head to meet my intense gaze.

"I want you."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I know, I know, .. It's been forever. But it's the same old song: too damn busy! As a matter of fact, I was actually supposed to start writing my essay that is due on Monday and I instead end up updating this story. I'm so going to regret this Monday at 4 o'clock in the morning when desperately trying to finish that essay over 3 cups of coffee (sighs). Oh well, you could make it better by giving me some nice reviews (hint, hint). Anywayz! I hope you like it, and I'm afraid I'll have to say to not expect an update too soon (hides behind chair). Damn, professors and their millions essay … Anyway, enough of my rambling. Enjoy the read and see ya next time, folks!**

"This isn't English Lit." She said as she fiddled with a loose thread of her sweater.

"I know that." I chuckled lightly.

"You don't have to sit here. I'm fine, really. I'm sure Miss Lapdog needs you more." She scoffed.

"You're right, I don't have to sit here. But I want to. Besides, Miss 'Lapdog' isn't too keen of me right now, me thinks." I said, referring her to the distance Hazel has taken every since their caf-altercation

"Everybody's staring."

"Alex, I don't care that everybody's staring. I really don't." I replied truthfully.

"Paige and Alex, can you please leave your pesky arguments for after class." Mister Walton asked harshly, growing tired of our whispering.

"Oh, we weren't arguing." I clarified.

"Right. Then please, Paige. Tell me what you were doing?" he asked annoyed.

"Uhm. Alex isn't feeling too well. I think she needs some fresh air." I lied.

I could feel her eyes practically burning hole in my face.

"Well, I think Alex is old enough to talk for herself and ask for a breather if she isn't fairing too well."

"Yeah, if you want to risk having her vomit all across the floor." I sniggered.

"Alright." He sighed." Alex, you can leave class for this hour, there isn't anything major you'll be missing. If it doesn't get any better, check with Nurse Voigt."

"I'll go with her."

"No, you'll stay. Alex is sick, you are not." He said sternly.

"Sir, do you really want to jeopardise her health and your rep by dismissing an ill student unguarded? I mean, what if she faints in the middle of the hallways and nobody is there to take care of her?" I asked overly dramatic.

He glared at me, while roughly massaging his temples with the tip of his fingers. This was going to be a close call.

"Just leave, please. Leave, before I grow some logic and change my mind on all of this." He sighed defeated.

Alex and I quickly retrieved our belongings and jumped from our desks, only to sprint towards the door before he could change his mind. As soon as we left the classroom and entered the hallway Alex tugged at my hand and lead me behind a corner, bringing us out of eye-sight of any teacher.

"What the hell was that?" she asked shocked.

"Please, like you really wanted to hear another hour of Walton's yanking about math-problems." I rolled my eyes.

"You're right. I don't. But that little scene there wasn't necessary. We could've just skipped class the old-fashioned way, if you had told me." She stated annoyed.

"And where's the fun in that." I smirked.

She rolled her eyes in disbelief before forming a smirk of her own.

"I thought you weren't a skipper."

"Well, I can't help it. Some vicious girl, empoisoned my sweet persona." I said in mock-innocence.

"Gee, I wonder who …"

"Let's get outta here." I said while pushing her towards the exit. She immediately winced and clutched her side in pain.

"Alex, what's wrong?" I asked worried, taking a few steps towards her.

"N-nothing." She said as she carefully backed away from me.

"Alex, just-"

"I have to go to the bathroom." She quickly rambled, as she hurriedly made her way to the restroom.

I sighed at her sudden closeted posture towards me, but quickly followed suit. I entered the bathroom and found her huddled over a lavatory. I am momentarily taken back in time as I recall a close to same scene a few weeks ago. It seemed like years since I confronted her with the truth. Since I shakily tried to make out why on earth my archrival made a move on me in the obscurity of the night, only to firmly deny it afterwards. Since I questioned why I cared so much to find out. Since I didn't freak out like I normally would've. Since I … since I started falling for her.

I vigilantly took a few steps towards her and situated myself right behind her. She was still hunched over the sink, hiding from me. Hiding from the truth.

I gently placed my hands on hers, careful not to startle her, and I instantly felt the tremor in her body.

"Alex, what's wrong?" I quietly ask.

She kept silently in her bent posture, not giving in to my presence yet.

"Alex, please .." I softly plead. She leisurely lifts her head and looks up into the mirror in front of her, meeting the reflection of my concerned eyes. We gaze at each other for moments, and I can't help but wonder if one day I could erase the hollowness and soreness from those perfect features. It was in that moment that I realised I was constantly tackling the same situation.

Alex stuck in that deep and dark hole, helplessly all by herself. And as I reach out and I feel her hand clamp around mine, just when I'm about to pull her out, she slips. She slips back into the darkness. Back into to that agonizing fear. All alone. By herself.

She needs to be pulled out.

I need to pull her out.

I tenderly turned her around to face me, and we continued staring at each other directly in the eyes. Her eyes. My eyes. The source of all truths. You can hide as much as you want, for as long as you want. You can try, and you might even succeed. But one fine look in your eyes, and all the lies are shattered.

As I gazed in hers, and she gazed in mine, all our truths were shared. All our lies, small and large, were dispersed. Our secrets were no longer guarded. So many eyes, I've looked right through. So many eyes went by unnoticed. Letting a tale pass by, without even perceiving it.

I don't see through her, and she doesn't see through me. We see each other. We see our stories. We our reflections. Our past. Our present. Our future.

I slowly dropped myself to my knees, never losing contact with her eyes. I could feel her body tighten and relax, all at the same time. I cautiously lifted her sweater in agonizingly low manner. Fearing that if I jumped a couple beats I'd hurt her. And at the same time, I was giving her the chance to walk away from this. To walk away from me.

Her breath was ragged, but she didn't leave me.

She was trusting me.

Bruises were spread all over her. Small and large marks were draped over her stomach, her ribs, her waist. Some of them freshly put, marked by their dark blue shade. Others, already fading to a yellow and greenish tint. The different shades stood in large contrast with the pale colour of her own silky skin. I hesitantly brought up my hand, and mildly traced all of it.

The bruises, the marks, the pain, the hurt, the anguish. Her stomach slowly rose up and down, marking her inhalation. But even more so, marking both her comfort and distress.

I retreated my hand to her waist, and looked up to her face. She was watching me. She was looking in my eyes, and reading my story. And I was reading hers.

I brought my lips to her stomach and began spreading the softest of kisses on every inch of her exposed skin.

"Paige …" She whispered contently.

Every feathery kiss was followed by a sharp intake of breath, and somewhere it the middle of it all, her hands buried in my hair and made my head stay in place, afraid that I was going to retreat too soon. After a near endless journey of my lips on her flesh, I drew back and pressed my cheek to her exposed abdomen. As I closed my eyes and lost myself in the sensation of warm skin underneath mine and her soothing inhalation, I felt her fingers loosely threading through my locks.

She was letting me in.

And I was pulling her out.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Yes, I am still alive. Sorry, you had to wait so long for an update. But you know, it's the usual really. Lots of work mixed with a small writers block. Plus, I always find it hard to write a Palex-story, when there's actual Palex-action on tv. I have a difficult time concentrating on my story, when the story on t.v. is so different. With that said; yay for Degrassi dedicating 5 of the last 6 epi's to them. I swear I felt, like a reading a series of (PG-rated) good fanfics.**

**Anyway, hope you'll like it. There's something in it, that a lot of people have been waiting for so read it! Keep reviewing my precious, precious friends and see you next time!**

"What were you like when you were little?"

We were lying next to each other on my bed, staring at the bland ceiling above us. There was no way that I was going to let her go back to her place, after my little discovery earlier hat day. She was against it. Naturally. But I couldn't let her go back. I wouldn't let her go back. And even if I knew deep down inside that I won't be able to protect her from her demons at all times, I knew that she'd at least be safely in my arms tonight. And for now, that was more than enough.

"Small." She stated simply.

"Well, you're awfully descriptive today."

"Just telling it how it is."

"A little more details please." I urged playfully.

"I had freckles. Lots of them." She revealed.

"Oh God."

"What?"

"I'm trying to picture you, Alex Nuñez, with freckles." I giggled.

"Thank you, for reminding me why I do not talk about my childhood."

"Oh no, don't stop! I'm sorry, I was just curious. I bet you were the cutest kid on the block. Attitude included." I chuckled lightly.

"You got that right." She scoffed.

I loved this side of her. Actually, I loved all of her sides. But the playful and light-hearted one wasn't always a part of her appearance. That smile, that laugh. When I'd see it, hear it, even feel it … I melted. There wasn't anything more heavenly then her happiness. It's a shame that she could barely express it. I had to change that. Not change her. Because I wouldn't dare to do that. In fact, I'd probably hate myself if I did. I just needed to bring it out more. I just need to make her content. I keep her like that.

That was the hardest part. Keeping her happy.

"I wish, I knew you back then." I whispered, while taking her hand in mine.

"Why?" she questioned while deepening the contact, by interlacing her fingers through mine. I still had to get used, to her voluntary touch. It still excited and surprised me to no end. Or maybe it was supposed to stay that way?

"I don't know. I feel like a missed an eternity not being with you ."

"You'd hate me though."

"It isn't because we hated each other through high school, that we would've hated each other as kids too." I said as I instinctively rolled my eyes.

"You know those girly girls, that would act all Princes-y all the time, prancing around in pink tutu's?" She asked.

"Yes …" I responded pensively.

"And you know those mean kids who'll push them in the mud for no reason, just to ruin their clothes and see them cry?" She continued.

"Yeah …"

"Well, you'd be the tutu-girl and I'd be the mean bully."

"Damn, I would've hated you."

"Told you." She laughed.

We kept laying there, eyes now closed and hands still clasped enjoying each others presence.

"Alex?"

"Hmm."

"What was your first kiss like?"

"What's with the flashback-questions?"

"Nothing, I just want to get to know you better." I explained.

"I'll tell, if you'll tell yours first."

"Okay, uhm. I was nine and me and my friends were playing hide and seek. I had my eyes closed and was counting, while the rest of them were hiding when suddenly I felt a pair lips on me. I opened my eyes and there was Kevin Deans aka the glue-eating-guy smiling smugly at me. I swear, I literally washed my mouth with soap cause I thought I was going to die an awful and slow death of coochitis."

"Ever the drama-queen I see." She chortled lightly.

"Just keepin' it real. Now. Your turn." I insisted, before she'd change her mind.

"God, is this going turn into one of those 'share-a-stupid-secret'-slumberparties?"

"Yes. Now, spill." I said, as I brought her hand to my mouth and softly kissed it before returning it in back between our resting bodies.

"I was 8 when my best friend back then, asked me if I ever had kissed someone. I told him I didn't and he told me he didn't either. He then asked me if I wanted to feel how it felt and I told him I did. And he took that as his cue to kiss me."

"And then …"

"And then I punched him." She shrugged.

"Huh, why?" I let out, genuinely confused.

"I said I wanted to know how it felt, I didn't say 'jump on me and make me feel it'. Besides he was an awful kisser. Bastard totally ruined my first kiss." She grunted humorously.

A few silent minutes passed again and I've never felt any more comfortable, with anyone as I was with her right then. She was my soothing calmness.

My restful comfort.

"Alex?"

"Hmm"

"I want to kiss you again." I whispered.

"Me too." She responded, even more silently.

A beat.

"They why don't we?" I enquired curiously.

"I don't know …"

"Should we try or …"

"I don't want to kiss you now."

"Oh." I let out disappointed

"No, it's like not that. I just … I don't want to kiss you on cue. I want it to be spontaneous and unexpected, not calculated and forced."

I let her clarification linger in my head for a few moment, before I came up with a conclusion of my own.

"You know, for a badass, you're a total softie."

"I am not." She countered half-offended, half-amused.

"Yes, you are."

"I'll kick your ass if I want to."

"Then why don't you?" I challenged.

"I don't wanna." Was her lame response.

"Softie." I teased.

"Shut up." She said as she lifted herself lightly and hovered above me.

"Hi, I'm Alex Nuñez, and I'm softie." I continued taunting her, while mimicking her tone.

"I swear Michealchuck, stop it or you're gonna regret it." She threatened while pointing at me with her finger.

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do Nu-"

And suddenly her lips were on mine. Those same luscious, tender and soft lips I've been craving for weeks. The lips that I couldn't get out of my head, no matter how much I tried. The lips I couldn't stop staring at whenever we were engaged in a conversation. No matter how hostile or sweet the words were she spoke, I always ended up envying them. I envied them because they got to roll over her slick tongue and slip through those sweet, moist lips. You're probably thinking that I'm mad, for envying shapeless words. But you wouldn't possibly understand my feelings and sentiments. Not as long as you actually see what I see, and feel what I feel. No description will ever be worthy of her beauty.

Was I mad?

I don't know.

The kiss was tender and sweet, and pleasantly rough all at the same time. Just like her.

Lips barely brushing each other. It was almost as if we were whispering our deepest emotions and declaring our sweetest love through each others mouths. This wasn't just a kiss. This was the beginning of our love story. This was the end of our past lives. The end of her agony. The end of my judgemental self.

This was our unifying pact.

She parted her lips from mine, urging me to kiss her back. Challenging me to give in to this oblivion, this dream. She was asking me a question, and begging me for a response. I urgently pulled her down to me again and reconnected our lips. They moved on an accord of their own, with a sense of urgency and passion. She pressed herself into me and I swear I've never felt any more alive than at that moment. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to feel her. Touch her. Taste her. I've waiting so long for this. But not too long.

Just enough.

I needed this time. She needed this time. We weren't just any other girl in each other eyes. She was mine, and I was hers.

My tongue slid out of my mouth and tasted those perfect lips. I heard some faint moans and heavy breathing in the background. Not knowing for sure, who it belonged too. Not that it mattered, since at that point, we were one. She opened her mouth ever so slightly, just enough for my tongue to slip in that warm cave of hers. Our tongues danced to the sweetest of serenades, discovering and re-discovering each other over and over again. Only parting when left completely breathless. Her damp forehead was pressed onto mine, my eyes closed. Afraid to open them and look into hers. Afraid to grasp the intensity and importance of this situation.

There really was no turning back. This was it. I slowly fluttered my eyes, and found hers already open wide. Dreamily gazing into mine with those chestnut brown pools. That's when I knew. I was so painfully sure, and I asked myself again;

Was I mad?

God, no.

Just madly in love.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Updatey-time!**** I took some time to write this, since I've neglected you all for so long. I'm in the middle of my finals and I had my second exam the other day and it frustrated me endlessly. Very, very crappy exam for sure. But I felt I owed you guys some more updates and sucked it up to write this. I promised some person to post this a little earlier but I was too damn busy studying for said stupid social law exam grumbles angrily while shaking her fist and cursing her professor so sorry for that.**

**Anyway, enjoy! And remember; feedback keeps me happy ;)**

* * *

"Hey, baby. Long time no see."

"Would, just please stop it Spin. It's getting old."

Yup, he's still in denial. He had been practically harassing me ever since I had broke up with him. He couldn't grasp the fact that he had been dumped by me, so he just pretended that we were still together. Which technically we never were, because I hadn't taken him back. So I also didn't really dump him, I just confirmed the situation. Yeah, … this was complicated even in my own mind.

"What's up sweetie? Rough day?"

"Hey jock-ass. Why don't you just fuck off?"

Ah, there she was. My knight in shining armour. We had been 'together' for 5 days. Five amazing, blissful, perfect days. I could try and attempt to describe it, but I couldn't. It something that you have to live through. Experience through your eyes, through your own feelings. Although I don't really think you could call it being 'together', since we hadn't really discussed our situation yet. We had just been hanging out a lot more. She didn't sleep over anymore after that night though. I tried convincing her, that she could stay over whenever she wanted but she refused to "being a hassle". I was pretty sure the real reason lied much deeper than that. About as deep as the cut I had discovered on the small of her back the day before, while she bent over to pick something up. I didn't ask her where she got it from. I wasn't stupid, I knew very damn well where it came from. But she needed to tell it to me on her own accord. It was her decision to make.

"Whatever. You think, you're all that now cause she's hanging out with you, huh? She's just using you, like she uses everyone else. I'm sure hanging out with the school freak wasn't on her resume of life-experiences yet. She'll keep using you and making you feel like you're actually worth something, and when she's had enough with you she'll kick you to the curb and pretend she never even knew you. You're just another little experience she can brag about later on." He spat at her while eyeing me with a disgusted look.

I know what you're thinking right now, though; did he knew? Well, luckily he didn't. Nobody did. As far as the school was concerned, the cheerbitch and the badass freak teamed up to form 'Degrassi's Duo Of Terror'. Their words, not ours. They figured that while our little assignment we had come to the conclusion that together we'd be untouchable and we'd have the undeniable power in the school. Though they were indisputably right, it was kinda disturbing to know that people thought you were on some kind of evil mission to rule the world and use its habitants as modern slaves.

But it was for the better.

We both didn't exactly knew what we were exactly experiencing and we didn't need any more unnecessary drama by a leak of information on our 'over-friendly state'. Not before we could actually make sense of this on our own first. Besides, it felt nice to know that you didn't have to share your most precious possession with the entire world. Don't get me wrong. I didn't want to hide Alex or my 'relationship' with her. But for the moment being, I wanted to keep it for my own and simply revel and enjoy its transcendency in al her beauty. And boy, did I enjoy it.

"Don't you dare talking to her like that, moron. As a matter of fact, you're not even allowed to talk to her or even be in her presence. So why don't you take your dumb ass out of here, and kill off the rest of your remaining 10 braincells in the gym. You got that?" I snapped, while pointing a threatening finger towards him.

He scoffed, turned around and quickly made himself scarce. Gavin Masson, ever the coward. I, too, turned around to face Alex, who was in turn finding the floor extremely fascinating again.

Great. Boys, really do ruin everything.

I looked around, trying to spot any unwanted ogling eyes and when confronted with none took her hand in mine and lead her into one of the many empty classroom. It was Friday afternoon and the only persons that were present were the students who busied themselves with extracurricular activities. From the tortured nerds of chessclub to the adored studs of the basketball-team, all were dispersed on the school property . Amongst them was also the Spirit Squad, that was probably practising their highly idiotic cheers again.

And me? I was ditching them.

_Again._

It was the third time I had done so, on a row. The other members were getting mighty pissed, but didn't dare to speak, terrified that they'd get kicked off the team and out of the popular clique at the same time. Hazel was enjoying it though. She could finally order people around in her skimpy, two-sizes-too-small cheer-outfit. In her world that equaled the epitome of success. And I granted her that. Not that I liked her all that much. I actually pretty much loathed ever since she had dissed Alex, even though she kept her insults to herself from then on. It's just that it was coming in awfully handy since I had more important … _stuff _to do. It was a win-win situation, really.

As soon as we entered the room, she withdrew her hand and proceeded to take a seat on the front desk. Head bowed down. Hands clasped in her lap. And silence.

Deafening silence.

Something was up, alright.

I slowly sauntered towards the front, placed myself in front her and waited for any sort of response. And predictably, the response didn't come. It was in times like those that I wished I didn't always had to make the first move. That she would just respond to my presence in these situations. That she would talk to me first, instead of me almost forcing her to do so. I wished I could tell her that in her face. Question her why she just won't trust me fully, cause surely her hesitancy to talk to me privately had to be the cause of that? I wished that she didn't had to act, feel this way in the first place. I wished I could be understanding, all the damn time. I wished I could stay mad at her long enough to actually finish my stupid inner-rantings. Because no matter how frustrating it can be, the exasperation leaves my mind in a millisecond the moment she just looks at me with those big brown Bambi-like eyes that evokes the sweetest of feelings inside of me. And it was that feeling, that particular emotion that I needed to feel.

So I reached out and held her chin, while I slowly made her look into my eyes. I expected anguish, nervousness and even a smidge of shyness that I only discovered as of late, but I found something so different. Something so unexpected, but oh so welcoming.

She was happy. Content. Whatever you want to call it.

The glow her face reflected. The playfulness that glimmered in her eyes. The sweetness that came with her smile. All of it lead to that brief state of happiness. And all I wanted to do was to preserve that moment for her. All I wanted to do was kiss her again.

I told you, that those last few days had been very momentous and startling. But when it came to our little liaison, we were still sort of reluctant. Neither of us ever was in a situation like that before, and neither of us knew what to do exactly. Sure, we'd been romantically involved before. But this was different. This was so much more intense on every single level. This was that larger-than-life experience we were going through, that we'd only read about in unrealistic romantic novels.

Shy and gullible kisses were shared on the lips. Some of them never even going further than a brief encounter with one's cheek, marking their sweetness in the most innocent of ways. Secretive handholding under the lunch-table, away from all the critical gazes. Sweet nothings whispered in each others ears. So childlike and clumsy at times, but so damn perfect simultaneously.

"He's an ass. Please, don't mind him." I said as I stood inbetween her legs and took hold of both of her hands.

"I know and I don't. It's just …"

She dropped her gaze again.

"Just what?" I said as I lifted her face to watch me in the eye, once more.

"I've let you in. So please, don't pull away okay? Cause I don't think I could handle that." She confessed hesitantly, voice slightly breaking in the process.

"What are you talking about? Alex you know I'm not like that."

"Look there are enough people that tried to step into my world, but once they figured me out they left. I'm not a fucking crossword puzzle you can try to solve and throw away once you're finished." She let out, now clearly upset.

"I know that! Is that what you think of me? That I'm using you as some sort of leisure pursuit ?"

"No Paige, it's just … Don't leave me. Please?" She whispered as she downcasted her eyes, yet again.

"I won't okay. And you'll just have to trust me on this. I don't care what my idiotic ex-boyfriend says or how many stares we get. I wanna be with you. Just you." I divulged genuinely while brushing a stray of her auburn hair behind her ear.

"Thank you. I really needed to hear that from you." She said as she tentavily placed a small but loving kiss on my lips. The shyness was still evident as both our faces grew a dark shade of red, when we met each others gazes.

"I got something for you." She said after a brief moment of silence, while she reached down her bag.

"Really?" I asked pleasantly surprised, feeling a goofy smile form on my face.

"Here." She said as she handed me a folded piece of paper.

"What's this?" I enquired.

"I finally took my time to choose a poem. You know, for the assignment."

"Oh, thank you. I almost forgot about that." I said as I was about unfold the paper before she put her hand on mine, stopping my previous actions.

"Don't read it here. Read it at home. Please?"

"Okay. But why do you want me to read it?"

"Well, I actually want you to analyse it. Just to see if I learned you well." She smirked.

"Analyze it? Without you? I don't think I can do that. Big brainless poetic, remember?" I chuckled.

"I think you can." She responded seriously.

"You do?"

"Yeah." She said huskily.

"Okay, then." I said as I instinctively bit down on my bottom-lip.

"You should stop doing that, you know."

"What?"

"Biting your lip."

"And why should I Miss Nuñez? Tell me, does it make you _hot_." I flirted passionately as I made sure to bite on my lip even more obviously.

"Nah. Just not a big fan of kissing bruised lips. It's kinda disgusting really." She shuddered mockingly.

"Is that why, you're so reluctant to kiss me then?" I asked playfully.

"No. That Princess, is solemnly due to your bad breath."

I humorously slapped her arm as I went into full-on pouting-mode.

"I can't believe you said that, you jerk!"

"I'm just kidding." She chuckled as she snaked her arms around my waist and pulled me into her.

"Then why won't you?" I mumbled contently into her hair, while she hugged me tighter.

"Cause every time I kiss you, I'm afraid I'll wake up and realise it was all just a dream."

* * *

"It is a dream." I sighed before briefly pausing to kiss the nape of her neck," But we never have to wake up." 


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N Enjoy this update since it'll take awhile before I post again. I'm heading on a vacation in a few hours and I'll be gone for a little over a month. I know, I know it sucks. But I promise you that I'll make it up with lots and lots of updates when I'm back ;) Thank you for the reviews, I hope you'll like it and see you soon. Have a great summer break everyone xx**

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As I find myself in the same situation over and over again, I realise that I couldn't do this anymore. I tried to ignore the secrets, the anguish, the hurt but I couldn't keep it up. It was too much. Too much for a simple teenage girl like me to handle. Changes needed to occur. And as she sits in front of me, eyes fixated on her lap, I contemplate what to say. What to do.

"Alex, I can't do this anymore."

She's still looking down. And she's still fiddling with her hands. She knew that this was coming. She knew it the moment she stepped in here.

"This just can't happen any longer."

And still no change occurs in her posture. No words spill from her mouth. No shock or horror paint her beautiful features.

"Just say something, Alex. Please?"

She's doing it again. She's choosing to take the easy path in difficult times. You know the silly behaviour you used to display when not wanting to hear the painful truth. You would cover your ears and annoyingly shout 'I can't hear you', when you heard damn well what was said. That's what she was doing right now. Just in a more subtle way, but with the same desired effect.

"Alex, you can't keep on doing this to me."

"Doing what Paige?"

"You know what, Alex."

She lowers her gaze again. As if she's ashamed of what I just said. Scared to see my actual facial reaction.

"I … I can't keep on pretending. I can't act as if this is most common thing ever."

She's a total mute again, and I can slowly hear the barriers that are being cemented around her fragile body. The same barriers that I worked so hard on breaking off.

"This has to stop now."

As I utter that sentence, she raises her face and brokenly looks at me. Suddenly the noise of cemented barriers briefly halt. With that single look, she's asking me to help her. She's pleading me to stop her from being thrown back into that isolation.

"What does have to stop?"

"Don't do this, Alex."

"Please. Just say it."

She says it with desperate urgency. She needs to hear it out loud, just like I needed her to confess me that she kissed me. No more secret truths or strident lies.

"You can't keep on coming here at random times in the night all bruised and beaten up. You can't keep not saying a single thing, while you silently shuffle in my bed. And you can't keep on leaving before I wake up and act as if nothing ever happened."

There it was said. It was out. No more pretending. No more secrets. No more lies. This had to end. Because if it didn't, than we'd have to make an even bigger sacrifice. A sacrifice I wasn't willing to take by any means.

"I won't come anymore. I'm sorry I dragged you in to this." She says as she start lifting herself up from the dryer.

You're probably wondering what she was doing on the dryer in the washroom. Well yeah, it's pretty became the patching-up room. She comes here all battered up, sits upon the dryer and waits for me to come with first aid-kit to clean her up. No questions are asked, no answers are given no matter how bad the situation is. Just a helpful girl, helping out a seemingly helpless one. Like a silent agreement. Once that is done I kiss her on the forehead, take her hand in mine and lead her to my bedroom. We silently enter my bed, hold each other through the night, finding comfort in one another and the next day I wake up in an empty bed. And we never talk about it again. Every action, every motion, was absolutely the same. Every single time.

So was today. We entered the washroom, like always. She raised herself onto the dryer, like always. I stood in front of her with the first-aid kit, like always. But that's when the automisms stopped.

I changed the routine.

"Alex, stop. You know, that's not what I meant." I say as I put my hands on her knees and force her to keep on seated.

"Than what do you mean, Paige?" She says slightly frustrated.

"What I mean is that you can't keep on not letting me in. We've had it about this since day one, why do you keep doing this?"

"I've let you in. How many fucking times do I have to keep telling you, huh?"

"You wouldn't need to, if you actually showed it."

"Well, that's rich Paige." She's says offended.

"You've been letting me in, and then shutting me out completely. For every step you take forward, you take two back."

She opens her mouth wanting to argue further, but nothing comes out. She knows it's true and endless bickering wouldn't help our cause. So she slumps back, and looks around the washroom. Looks everywhere but at me. And that's when I see a lone tear glistering down against her beautiful face. No matter how much that bastard would beat her up. No matter how many bruises would stain that angelic façade, never would it come close to fade out her beauty. I reach out and brush away the tear, letting it linger lightly before lowering my hand to the back of her neck. And just like that, with the simplest of touches, she let me in once more. I'm in her reality again. In her own little world of dark secrets.

"I don't know what to do." She sniffs out helplessly.

"We'll figure it out together. But you can't keep on taking this way. I'm scared for you, Alex."

"Don't be. I can handle it."

"No, you can't. It's only a matter of time before this escalates into something even worse, if that's even possible. I can't lose you, Alex." I let out sincerely.

"You won't, I promise. I just … It's so bad, Paige. It's been getting worse and worse. I mean, he just …" She says, suddenly losing her courage to continue.

"It's okay." I say, while softly massaging the back of her neck.

"When he starts … he just can't seem to stop himself. His eyes, they become so hollow, Paige. So lifeless."

"Why didn't you inform the cops, I know the law works slow but even they can't ignore beatings like these."

"No, I can't do that. If they bust him, they'll bust my mom too."

"Why? She's as much as a victim as you are."

"Alcoholic mom who brought in the abusive step-dad and neglected her children since the death of her husband? Yeah, not so much. Besides, I'll just be jumbled from fosterhome to fosterhome."

"You can stay here. My folks really won't mind, you know. I mean, my dad …"

"No, I can't just suddenly start living here. Besides I can't leave my mom alone. She's made some bad decisions in her life, but she's still the same mom that baked me cookies on Christmas eve. She's just been fucked up, ever since … We all are."

I realise that a solution won't be find in a matter of moments. But I wasn't going to give up on her after she trusted me with all the information she just handed me. It was the most she revealed since that very first night she ran into my house. It was clear that no rescue-plans would come up tonight. Partly due to the intensity of our previous conversation and the needed time to process it, but even more due to the fatigue we both felt and displayed. It was

3.42 AM after all.

So I do what I do best and comfort her. I lower both my hands to the small of her back and pull her into my embrace. Her head buried under my chin and her hands clamping at the hem of my shirt, wordlessly begging me to not let go. And I don't. I just simply continue rocking her gently back and forth. She still on the dryer, and me in between her legs. There was a time not so long ago, I'd be worried to death to be caught in this position with her. Caught by the dismissive stares of judgemental surroundings.

Now, I'm just worried. Worried about her. Worried about her health, about her life and future. Worried that I'll never see her smile again. Worried that one day, that one extra hit will be her last. And not in a good way.

I've broken the routine today. I took a left, instead of the usual right. I took the longer road instead of the usual short cut. But I also took the road with the most beautiful surroundings, instead of the sheltered dark and empty road. But in the end they both end at the same destination. My safe haven. My home.

My Alex.

But one is shady and sinister, whereas the other is sundrenched and clear. I choose the one with the bright future. It will just take a longer time to get there. Time that I was willing to take, for as long as it was needed.

"It's going to be okay." I whisper one last time, before kissing her on the forehead, taking her hand in mine and leading her into my room. Into my warm bed, where we lived in our own little parallel universe and where all that is bad will be forgotten until the early morning.

No. Sometimes, not everything needs to change. Just a little adjusted.

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Hey everyone! I know it's been a long time but I'm back and loaded with a fresh update. School starts in two weeks, and weirdly enough that should mean more updates. I just always seem to find more time to update when I have like ten essays to write. It's just a nice distraction ;-) Anyway I hope you'll like the, hopefully I'll see you soon. **

**Feedback love.**

* * *

She stayed.

She stayed and I've never felt more relieved, more happy and overjoyed in my whole life. You have no idea how it feels to wake up and see her breath evenly, see her at full peace, feel her wrapped up in my embrace. She didn't wake up at the crack of dawn. She didn't quietly creep out the door like a thief in the middle of the night. She didn't leave me behind worrying about her and wondering what I'd done wrong to make her flee.

No, she stayed.

I was contemplating whether she ever had the chance to flee me. Maybe she just didn't get opportunity to leave before I woke up. Maybe she just slept through it and couldn't wake up. Maybe she started freaking out the moment she woke up and realized it was way past 10 and I had woken up before she did. Maybe she was planning to leave me again, but just missed her chance.

And oddly, the assumption doesn't make me mad nor sad. It relieves me. It relieves me because it would mean that she slept soundly through the night. It relieves because for a few hours, she was at total peace. She didn't need to worry about any pain, about any agony, any distress. For once she was lost in a land of dreams, not nightmares. And as she laid there beautifully undisturbed in my embrace, I knew she was relieved too.

When she walked into the kitchen hair all mussed, eyes sleepy, yawning and with a hint of a smile on her face I couldn't help but stare and foolishly grin. I couldn't help but beam and take in the view in front of me, trying to memorise as many details as possible. How a lock of hair fell in between both of her eyes, but not quite in the middle. How the left side of her tanktop had ridden up a bit, displaying a small unexplained scar right above her hipbone. Or how when she yawned, she'd immediately close her eyes and would leave them that away until after the yawn was finished for about 1.5 seconds.

And when we were at the table, kitchen filled only with the sounds of sterling teaspoons stirring in dark, sugary coffee and the plunking caused by the droplets of water dripping from the broken faucet that my dad has yet had the chance to fix, everything feels just right.

And when she suddenly out of nowhere, makes the goofiest face ever just when I was about to take a sip of my scorchingly hot drink, and I end up spraying it all over the table because I couldn't withhold my laughter, everything didn't feel right.

It simply was.

"Your mom is really nice."

Oh, yes. Alex met my mom today. For a second all that seemed perfect, seemed to evaporate into thin air. I almost had lost her again. The moment my mom unexpectedly walked into the kitchen, I felt her stiffen immediately. Gone were the pleasant silences and goofy grins. In were the awkward glances and painful stillnesses.  
But one touch, one hand holding the other, one second of skin brushing skin in the secrecy beneath the table and all seemed well again.

Of course there still was the weird introduction. The shyness and the shame displayed on Alex's face, while ducking her head desperately trying to hide her appearance. The questioning eyes of my mother, wondering why this 'new friend' was acting so timid. The squeeze I gave her hand that encouraged her to look up. The shock that registered on my moms face when she saw her battered face. And then the automatic concern that filled my mothers voice when she rapidly asked what had happened.

You didn't have to be a doctor to see that the bruises were caused by a beating. But that's the thing, my mom is a doctor. Yet at that moment, the worry she was showing wasn't one of a doctor or maybe not entirely anyway. It was of one of motherly instinct. When my mom walked over to Alex sweetly asking her if she was okay, she was not Doctor Michalchuck who had to take care of a nameless patient. She was my mom, Lauren Michalchuck, fretting about her daughters friend. And when Alex didn't flinch at my mothers hand that rubbed her arm comfortingly, she wasn't just the friend of her daughter anymore. She was the equivalent of her daughter. For those few minutes, Alex _was_ her daughter.

"She has her moments."

We are at the beach again. In her secret spot. We wanted to run away from everything and everyone for a little while. You know, just before we had to hit the madness of reality again. And this was the perfect place to momentarily hide from this world together. And as I'm sitting in between her legs, my back to her front and her arms draped around my waist I'm feeling the relief of her not leaving me. The giddiness of her appearance at the kitchen entrance. The contentedness of our coffee-drinking selves. The perfection of us being us.

"Thanks for covering up for me."

My mom fussing about Alex also had a bad side. There was the inevitable explanation she had to give. And as I saw her stuttering a string of words, desperately trying to form a coherent sentence but failing miserably, my heart broke a little. So I jumped in and gave an explanation of my own. One were Alex protected me from a harassing ass who wouldn't take no for answer. Things got out of hand and the guy and some of his friends started beating her up. In some ways it was true. Spinner was being a harassing ass and Alex did stood up for me but the latter part never happened of course. Although the emotional beating she got day in day out by the likes of Spinner probably hurt just as much as the physical ones. Maybe even more.

After we assured my mom that everything was cleared up at school and a trip to the principal's office wasn't needed, she dropped the subject. Not before suggesting medical help, which was refused by Alex immediately, and thanking Alex profusely but she still dropped it.

"Anytime."

"God I wish I could stay here forever." I add a few moments later while taking in the breathtaking view in front of me.

"You know, I used to think no matter how perfect this place was in my mind, that it still missed something. And I just couldn't put my finger on what, because I thought I had everything I needed right here. But now I'm sure."

"Sure about what?"

"That it did indeed miss something. Someone." She whispers in my ear.

And when the wind picks up, her grip tightens around my waist and her nose nuzzles the back of my ear and I'm not relieved. Nor do I feel giddy or content. At this doesn't feel right, or even _is _right.

Because all I feel is her. All I feel is us. All this feels is perfect.

All this is, is love.


	15. Chapter 15

"You're still reading this

**A/N: It's been such a long time since I've updated this but better late then never, right? Besides, can you blame me**** for not being in a Palex-mood after the crap the writers fed us this season? In reality, if it wasn't for the fact that I also have a Spashley-version of this, I would've probably just given up on this all together. Bit I figure this fic (at its readers of course) deserves to be continued and get a worthy ending eventually. So, I'll try to update this more frequently from now on. Also, there's a big chance this will be my last Palex-fic so enjoy it ;) Have a nice read! **

"You're still reading this?"

After days and days of begging, Alex finally gave in and brought me to her place. Well her room would me more exact, since she dragged me into it the moment I stepped in her apartment. She didn't tell me, but I know that she made sure that the place was vacated first and that they're would be no one at her home. That doesn't mean that she let me roam in it freely. It was clear by her very nervous demeanor throughout the whole ride down here that she did not want me here. Of course, I know better than to take this personally and feel insulted. The reasons why she was so reluctant to invite me in to her place, were already known the very first time I had knocked on her door. She didn't have to put it in exact words for me to understand.

"Still?" She asks me with a raised eyebrow and comes to sit on the bed next to me.

The Alchemist is still proudly displayed on her night stand and it makes me wonder if it ever leaves her vicinity in this room.

"Yeah, I saw it here the last time I came here." I explain to her and she looks at me with a frown and I realize how I might be coming over. "Not that I was nosing around or anything, it's just it was on your bed and I-"

"Paige, it's okay." She interrupts me with a laugh. " And I'm not _still _reading it. I'm just reading it again."

"That good, huh?" I smile slyly.

"Well, considering I read it about 25 times I'd say so. It's just a personal favorite of mine, that's all. It uh … It helps me escape reality sometimes, you know." She says bashfully all the while ducking her head.

"What's it about?" I ask her with a genuine interest. There has to be something special about this book, if she has read it just a third of the amount of time she mentioned. Not to add, that I'm curious to know why it makes her escape reality as she puts it. A reality that is so much harsher than it should be for anyone and of which I can understand she would want to break out off as much as possible.

She looks up at me and flashes me a wide smile, before cocking her head. She takes the book from the night stand and gently places it in my lap.

"Why won't you read it and find out for yourself." She tells me with a wink. She finally seems at ease with me being there and starts acting more and more like the candid girl I've come to learn these last couple of weeks.

"Oh, no it's your favorite. You need it. I can't take this with me." I urgently say as I try to hand her the book back.

"Relax, just read it and bring it back afterwards. I can miss it for a while." She assures me as she pushes the book back into my hands.

"But, I read really slow. Like second grade slow, you'll probably get it back by next year." I joke, not wanting her to give such important piece of her life. I could never take it away from her if this helps her get through the terrible nights she might spend down here.

"Don't worry about it," She tells me as she points to the corner of her room, "I have enough reading-material for the next two years. I should be okay." She sighs in mock- exaggeration.

"You sure?" I ask her hesitantly.

"Positive."

We knowingly smile at each other for a few moments before we both shift our gazes and nervously look the other way. I take this chance to take in her room for the second time around. This time more freely and without the fear of being caught. The first thing I noticed when I was here the first time was the blankness and darkness of the room. What I didn't notice was just how neat it was. There are no clothes haphazardly thrown around the room, the bed is perfectly made and all her books –besides the one I had in my hands- are all nicely ordered in the shelves. It's a big contrast with my room, that usually is a complete mess throughout the whole week. The only time that it looks half-decent is Sunday when I usually am bored enough to clean it. I want to be surprised that Alex out of all people, seems to be so organized -even in her bedroom- but fact is that I've come across far more astonishing revelations about her since New Year's eve. Every single day just seems to be another opportunity for me to unfold another part of this intriguing piece of mystery. I used to regard her as the absolute prototype for the badass from the wrong side of the tracks, but all she's been giving me has been bolt from the blue. If there's actually one person amongst us that suffers from the cliché's surrounding a certain 'type' of person, it would surely be me.

"Do you play?" I suddenly ask.

"Huh?"

"The guitar," I clarify as I point to the object of my attention. I actually completely forgot about it and only remember it now that it's straight in front of me.

"Oh, no." She says quietly. "Well, barely anyway."

"Make up your mind." I chuckle as I lightly bump my shoulder with hers.

"Well, I know how to play a few songs but I don't really _play_ play. Just the basics." She tells me as she nervously fiddles with her fingers. " My dad taught me a few cords. It was his' actually."

I'm taken away at first because it usually takes a lot more prodding from my side for her to tell me anything personal, certainly when it was in direct relation to her family. But I quickly recover myself and place my hand on hers, lightly urging her to stop the fiddling and look me into the eye. She takes the hint, follows my silent plea and I'm met with an anxious smile

"Tell me about him." I whisper, hoping that she won't back down and trust me enough to share this private information with me. I know that I've slightly caught her of guard by the sudden questioning glance she throws me but the squeeze she hands me tells me that she doesn't mind it.

"Well, he's ... uh … he was- " She pauses to regain her composure to continue, "He was really great." She finally tells me. Simply, easily and well-composed. I think for her, that's all it comes down to in the end. Her father is … was great. It sums it up perfectly and I would've been content with that statement alone but she doesn't know that and she decides to continue anyway.

"He used two work two shifts a day to keep a roof on our heads, so I didn't see him a whole lot." She says in a low voice. "But, you know, he was there for me when I needed him and that was enough for me, I guess."

I take her hand that's tangled in mine and place it in my lap, stroking the inside of her palm. She looks at me and flashes me a genuine smile and I can't help but mirror her gesture. "He usually wasn't there to tuck me in at night, but I'd always hear him coming in my room to check up on me and Esteban when he got home. I always pretended that I was fast asleep, because I didn't want him to get mad at me." She continues in a barely there voice.

"The days he could check up on me, he'd always take that guitar and sing me and Esteban a lullaby." She smiles bashfully while the guitar in front of us.

"That must've been really nice." I respond in a hushed tone.

"It was. Those are my favorite memories of him. He was kinda a hot shot at High School, you know. Lead singer of a garage band and all. He used to tell me that mom was a sucker for his raw voice and leather jacket and swooned every time he started singing." She laughed quietly. "He tended to exaggerate a lot to stroke his ego a bit."

"You miss him a lot, don't you?" I ask her softly, without even thinking.

"I do." She whispers and slowly leans down until her back's fully on the bed. I lower myself too, until I'm hovering over her laying body. Her eyes are closed and the only sounds she's making come from her even breathing. I take this chance to unabashedly take in her beautiful features and I can't seem to understand how a person could hurt such a fragile, sweet and genuine young girl like her. It's so unfair that there are people out there that don't ever have to worry about a single thing in their life and take whatever they have for granted, when Alex has been hurt in so many ways in her young life. How she's still getting hurt every single day and how nobody seems to care. How nobody seems to stand still for just a moment and wonder what might be going through the complex mind of that lonely girl in the back of the classroom. I lift my hand and carefully cup her cheek and she doesn't even flinch. As if she has been anticipating this whole move all along, as if she trusts me with her eyes closed –figuratively and literally speaking. I move my hand and gently start brushing my thumb over her eyebrows, down the bridge off her nose and eventually her soft and luscious lips. I let it linger there when I hear her sigh contently in to the air, not once opening her eyes.

"You are so beautiful." I hear myself whisper hoarsely. Suddenly her eyes are open and the emotion that is passing through them has never been this intense. She softly kisses the thumb that's still placed on her lips, before she takes the hand and threads her own fingers with it. I feel my eyes shifting from her orbs to her lips in an endless tango of which I have no control of. Those lips are now moving and I'm positive that if it wasn't for the absolute silence in our surroundings that I would never heard her whispered words.

"Kiss me."

My heart is ready to jump out of my chest when I slowly lower myself to meet her moist lips. No matter how many times I kiss her, I will never get used to this feeling. I will never get used to the emotions that explode within me when our lips touch. But her saying those words out loud, making me kiss her and not the other way around, showing me that she needs me just as much as I need her take the previously experienced sensations to a whole new level. I by the way one hand of hers snakes into my long locks and tightly holds my head in place and the other continuously squeezes mine, I know she feels just the same way. We start kissing each other lazily and on a very languid pace, telling one and another that we have all the time in the world. That this thing that we have, this connection that we share is something that will not end any time soon. We're telling each other that whatever will happen, the bond between us will never die. It doesn't last long before we're completely lost in each other and every single rational thought is vanishing in the frenzy we're creating. Gasps and moans are being emitted and tongues are finding their twins in the heat of the moment. And as delicate hands nervously start roaming warm skin, the noises of front doors opening and drunken screams become inexistent to our ears. As we come closer and closer to our little piece of heaven, we neglect the piece of hell that is about to burst on the other side of this door.


End file.
